XWAwards 2007

[chet]

she said:

Thank you very much Mr. Bain. Wow he's big... OK, I don't quite see the winners of the next award quite yet, but we do have a schedule to uphold here, gotta get you kids outta here before curfew. Next award up will be the COMIC RELIEF Award. Now as you would guess, this award goes to the person or people who were gut-busting in the funny way over the season as opposed to using the wrestling move of the same name, ha ha!!!

Silence...

OK, it's pretty clear that I'm not going to be winning this one any time soon. Tough crowd. These superstars though are worth of the title though. We'll start with the Women's award because in that category we actually have ourselves a TIE!!!

Not one, but two Diamonds definitely have future sitcoms in their future, or at least an HBO Comedy specials. The 2007 Women's Comic Relief award goes to...

Kristin Hager


Sayuri

I don't think there's a doubt in anyone's mind that while they were around, these two were funny girls for sure so let's give them a round of applause? Are either of them in attendance tonight? Come on up and say a few things if you want!

Kristin happened to be in the bathroom, preparing herself for the awards show, she didn't realize it had already started she was speaking to the mirror because she wasn't used to speech in front of people, Chet rushes into the bathroom

... And it's a pleasure to see that the woman who voted twice for George Bush unwillingly finally makes up for her mistake by receiving an award for..

Kristin! Kristin!

Chet what are you doing here!? You pervert! This is the women's bathroom!

But Kristin you have received an award!

Kristin's eyes shine hearing that

An award!? For what? For being the most competitive and tough Diamond in the whole roster?

Actually it's for being one of the most funny Diamonds in the roster.

Funny? But I am never funny I am always serious ain't I Chet?

I didn't voted Kristin

Anyways an award it's an award, so let's go take MY award and we'll put it in MY house

You mean OUR house... Don't ya?

Yeah whatever, let's go

Kristin and Chet exit the locker room, and get on the stage where they are meet with cheers by the wrestlers and the fans alike, Kristin takes the award from S.H.E

Thanks Sierra Hyde Houston, and thanks to XWA who welcomed me, if it wasn't by you I'd still be losing matches in the independents, now atleast I can say that I lose in XWA ;D

Kristin rises her award up in the air, not realizing Chet was standing behind her, accidentaly she hits Chet on the nose

Since I don't win matches, atleast I win an award and I am proud to have win this award it will be the only thing valuable in my prize stand, anyways Gallas had signed me just for a season, but since he saw me so good in and outside the ring, he decided to expand my contract for 3 years, so you Diamonds won't get rid so easily of Kristin Hager! ;D I WON! I WON!

Kristin rises her award again, hitting Chet on the nose again Kristin then spots Ashley and Chloe in the crowd with other Diamonds she had never seen

I might never fight you Ash and Chloe because I am a member of the XWA welcomming comitee, but if I have the chance get ready girls, because Kristin Hager isn't gonna be so easy to "get jobbed" again!

Kristin rises her title for a third time and hits Chet for a third time, Chet's nose is bleeding The jobbing duo get out of the stage and go to greet their fellow co-workers, Chet walks with his head high and a tissue in his nose

[MG]

XDog and DJT got a parden to come to the show without fucking up their parole. Sadly after the show they have to go back to jail. MG, XDog, Brian and DJT is cought on camera walking into the arena with all black suits on looking like the mafia. They walk in and sit in their own privite section. MG decides to get up talk a little. MG walked down to Kayn and begains to talk.

Yo. Don't tell me you just came from a gay club cause thats fruty to the ass.

MG spots Ashley looking real good. He blows a kiss towards her.

My TNN "thugs" DJT and XDog are here for one night only so please if they come down here don't be dissing them about their time in jail.

[myth]

So, tell me MG. How exactly XDog walking after my brother broke his leg? Surely he hasn't healed THAT fast because it's not humanly possible to heal a broken leg that quickly. Unless he's defying the laws of reality.

Let me tell you something. You aren't wanted here. You and your "boys" never have been. You're a disgrace to this wrestling business. You're body off dead in an ally. No one cares about you. None of the girls like you, so you can stop trying to be big around them, because you aren't. You straight up suck. You are never going to be anything more than a mid-carder. You will never hit the big scene. You also aren't going to be winning any awards, so you can just simply walk on out. And if by chance, your "boys" arrive, I will be bug them about their jail time. Because that's where you all belong.

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Anthony takes a huge swig from the bottle itself. He places the bottle back down and waits because he knows MG is going to come back with a response that has an IQ of a 5 year old.[/center]

[Trouble*]

Ryan applauds Anthony from afar. 'Twas a beautiful art he was performing.

[MG]

What bitch!

MG turns his head and spots Anthony

Yo.

MG takes out a piece of paper with Kevin Callambo, Micheal Xavier, and King crossed out. He writes Anthony name. He shows Anthony the paper.

This is so I can rememeber to fuck you up this year.

MG grabs Anthony's bottle and drinks it from the mouth.

Now, XDog leg is broken but he managed to beat a healthy Dustin Diamond doe. He's gonna be out with a broken leg until March 2009. Your brother is gonna get it when X comes back.

XDog walks down with his crutches and smiles.

What's up everybody *waves*

[Trouble*]

...His applause stops, and his face goes completely straight. He grabs the popcorn bag belonging to the man sitting beside Lucas, and whips it in the direction of MG. It zings by his head, missing by inches.

[myth]

Your a moron. Plain and simple. You can't compete on a BROKEN FUCKING LEG. Doctor's won't medically clear a person that isn't ready. And if they do, then they aren't a real doctor.

And last match I remember you having with my brother, he fucked YOU up. 5 times if I remember correctly. You think you're going to fuck me up? Not a chance. You may have managed to get 1 win over my brother, but I can guarantee that you will not get any wins against me. You can write my name down all you want, but after I put your shoulders down on the mat for the 3 count, then you will realize that you can't beat me. You never will beat me.

And is this your little buddy, XDog? The one that got his leg broke by my brother AND served Jail time? Pfft. You're all nothing but pathetic losers. Why don't you do us all a favor and get the hell out of here?

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[MG]

MG slings a bottle at ryans head but it misses also but the drink splashed on him.

Ryan come outside bitch. Your a wreck just like me so why your throwing shit at me like I'm some dog you dick lick.

XDog frowns

Why your dissing me you Dungens and Dragon bitch ass eye shawdow wearing dick kissing punk. I'll beat you down if I wasn't on parole.

[myth]

Because you're an idiot. I don't wear eye shadow moron, nor do I play dungeons and dragons. Of course, your ass is busy being stuck in jail that you don't what the reality is. And you couldn't beat me down if you tried. You're just using your parole as an excuse because you're scared to get your head smashed by me.

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[MG]

See you can't tell a black joke to a white guy. You don't have to play it but you look like your a game piece.

XDog puts his hand on his face.

If I mess with my parole I would be in jail longer so stop with the bullshit you know how it works

[Sierra Hyde Easton]

Okay, Okay we're back sort of. Just a few minor complications but we're back on the air now, sort of. How we all doing out there? Next on the list will be the 2007 Loose Screw Award. This one is a single award here that goes to XWA's most psychopathic, insane and just plain craziest member.

The winner of this one is pretty much in the same category of being the league's funniest guy. What more can you say except he's a very unique fellow...

!!!JONNY PUNCH!!!

We'll just hand this one off to him backstage there, he looked like he was a bit peeved during his speech-probably some bug that ticked him off, but no big deal really. On with the show now, only a few more categories to go-but we do have to take another intermission folks. Be right back!!!

NOTE-The Award Show will continue tomorrow night due to the whole family holiday thing here that is going on as we speak. Sorry for the delays. Until then folks-Merry Christmas.

[car]

Nick had finally arrived. His tux was nice and he had decided to trim a bit. He walks over to a near by table and sits down. He then is surved some Champaigne and he drinks some as he waits.

[emil]

However in the big plasma screen right behind S.H.E. The stereotypical fitness theme hits all over the P.A

THE FOLLOWING ADVERT COULD DO FOR YOU WHAT IT HAS DONE FOR MILLIONS

A huge gym appears on the screen



Emil Edwards appears with a case filled with his products, he wears his head mic and he prepares himself to speak

Sounds familar to you XWA roster?... Probably NOT!!! I have something that will sound you more familiar than this thing, that I say a Gym, that's right a G-Y-M it's a place where people gets in shape! But before a preview of what kind of placement do XWA "Combatants" and XWA "Diamonds" spend their time in.



Oh XWA tell me no lie... YOU ARE LOVIN' IT!

Emil laughs at his joke as he keeps on

But don't worry lard asses, your days of fat are over, with the arrival of myself, Emil Edwards and my patentated, often immitated, never duplicated Edwards Statement and my protein shake, will help you putting this layers of fat into layers of muscle, much like myself. Because let's face reality, the student might overcome the master in martial arts and those b-movie kung fu films you watch, but in matters of nutrition... NEVER, you heard me right, NEVER you'll be as nutritionally sane as I am.

Emil keeps laughing as he reveals a fitness lady who is doing squats.

See her Ashley Diamond, Chloe, Kristin, Japanese illegal immigrants, and the rest of Diamonds? She'll be nutritionally sane, she'll be fit and I bet my empire that she'd whoop your flabby asses in less than a minute, she's the perfect example of nutrition played well. But if we take a look at the Diamond Division, EW! MAN IT STINKS LIKE BURNT LARD!!! Well.. Burnt isn't the exact word, since if you burnt lard you'd look better... IT STINKS LIKE FRESH PIG LARD TAKEN OUT OF THE CAN! That's better. When, when you will learn Diamonds, training in wrestling doesn't make you lose weight, it might flatten your buttcheeks seeing the considerable amount of butt bumps you take, but nothing more, it might move the layers of fat from your bodies seeing the number of bodyslams you take but nothing more. You are still fat!

Emil takes out a can of his patentated shake and takes a sip from it

Aaah refreshing, delicious and nutritionally OK. What I can't say about the XWA Combatants roster, seriously let's take for example Anthony Xavier... That guy thinks he's ok because he's banging a brit twit, but Xav you couldn't be more wrong, let's put this example. Hulk Hogan had the 24 inch phytons, and you my friend you have the 100 inch ANACONDAS hanging from your arms... And Mr. Party Party Party, Keith Whale. Another of this guys who think they hit the jackpot, so wrong, by having a plastic doll as a girlfriend you don't become as light as plastic Keith, only effort can turn you a real man like me. Now for the others MG, Puncho, Nick Jones, Lucas Klav Kalash... You are so pathetic and out of my sight I won't even bother to start a rant on you, I will just say 3 words: Big, Fat, Losers.

That's it. Thanks for listening to me, and S.H.E you always know that chasing Mimi around your office is a great funtime, but not a valuable exercise, so if you wish to be better, you know what number you have to dial, the following appearing

Emil Edwards 906 555 444 222. This number appears right on the screen as the dreaded advert ends.

[Keith Wyle]

Looking at the "Advertisement" as it came on, Keith and Amber look at each other

You're plastic?!?!?!?

Amber gives him a look, to which Keith cracks a half smile...then a full one

[myth]

Anthony raises his eyebrow at the joke advertisement.

Great, another moron in XWA. He is seriously blind. The XWA Diamonds fat? He's smoking something or his "protein" shakes are filled with bullshit. I think it's safe to say that the moment he enters XWA, he's gonna get his ass beat. When he sees me in person, he'll realize that what I have on my body is muscle and not fat. I have the minimum amount of body fat required for the body to function properly. The rest is muscle. Kyle, I think it's safe to assume that Emil will be getting is ass handed to him.

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