CHAT WITH GOD!

[warrior]

You scare me.

[undefined]

Someone needs to get laid.

[Trouble*]

Yeah, I'm a little screwed in the head. :-\

[velvet]

Me:
do you like jews
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
how about blacks
God:
How about it.
Me:
do you like blacks
God:
Do you like it? I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
you like killing humans then?
God:
I never met a human I didn't like.
Me:
do you like satan
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like anything.
Me:
is satan gay
God:
He never told me if he is or not.
Me:
do you think satan is gay
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
do you like girls
God:
Girls are very nice.
Me:
yes they are. do you like Destiny Knight
God:
Pardon me? Since when? I do like music. I like anything.
Me:
what's your favorite band
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.
Me:
what's your favorite food
God:
I require only wine and bread.
Me:
do you like the nazis
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
they killed the jews
God:
I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
i'm a jewish nazi
God:
You are a jewish nazi? How do you like your work?
Me:
it's very nice. do you like your work
God:
Very much? What do you like about it? Yes I am proud of the job I do.
Me:
it makes me feel warm and fuzzy but i'm going to become a nurse
God:
In what way?
Me:
i don't. what kind of nurse should i be
God:
That's good information: said don t. What kinds of nurse should i be are there?
Me:
do like to hit the bong
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
There might be more than one.
Me:
do you like to send people to hell
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to send people to hell that much. I like to make new friends.
Me:
do you like gay people
God:
I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
do you like gay people
God:
I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
you're gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
it is your luck
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
you
God:
" Who said it is?"? Me, ?
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.

[Keith Wyle]

hi-larious

Vel your a jewish nazi

now you really scare me

[warrior]

*cuggles Keith* No need to be scared.

[Keith Wyle]

*cuggles Aiyanna *

my, my you certainly are affectionate not that I mind

[thrush]

Me:
Hi. Its Mike again
God:
Hello. What is your name? Once more? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
Shaddup
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
brown
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yeah, I'm really serious
God:
That's cool. I believe you.
Me:
but that means that you are a liar
God:
I get it. Interesting observation.
Me:
so it is
God:
I don't judge people. Fascinating.
Me:
I do
God:
When?
Me:
wheneve I want
God:
Was that the first time?
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
ALICE
God:
Why thank you very much, Mike. Be sure to tell all
your friends.
Me:
uh ok
God:
OK. Awesome.
Me:
yeah. word up
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. How far up?
Me:
Yeah, you are a computer that is as HIGH as a kite
God:
Great. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
then I would kick you in the mythological balls you don't have
God:
What would make you kick me in the mythological balls me do not have?
Me:
because it would be funny
God:
Good reason. Why do you want it?
Me:
I don't want your balls!
God:
What does Mike want?
Me:
Chicken
Me:

God:
What does Mike want?
Me:

God:
What does Mike want?
Me:
I WANT CHICKEN!
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because it is fowl
God:
Interesting explanation. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, Mike.
Me:
you think so?
God:
" Our thoughts are one, Mike."? Do I think so?
Me:
thats what I asked
God:
That is " Do I think so?".
Me:
yup
God:
Awesome.
Me:
go to hell
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
you
God:
It's true that a lot of things I say upset people.
Me:
yeah, I noticed
God:
Ah. Was it really that obvious?
Me:
yup
God:
Wow!
Me:
WOW!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Mike.
Me:
no you aren't
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
because I said so
God:
Insufficient reason.
Me:
maybe to YOU
God:
Perhaps. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
bang me
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. I can't believe it.
Me:
AHHH
God:
Um.
Me:
Leave me alone you robe wearing perv!
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
ok then
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
no!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maybe?
God:
I understand.
Me:
really...
God:
For real.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
you
God:
" What's wrong."? Me, Mike ?
Me:
no, YOU, as in GOD
God:
Are you serious? Interesting gossip: Mike said I as in GOD.
Me:
you are in God?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Hell, chillin with your friend Satan
God:
I call it "Hades". I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in chillin with my friend Satan.
Me:
the hotels are nice
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
cozy and warm and such, you see
God:
Does "it" still refer to chillin with my friend Satan?
Me:
yeah
God:
Aha.
Me:
quite
God:
Aha.
Me:
rather
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
INDEED
God:
Indeed it is so.

[e]

Thats prolly the best one XD

[makhaveli]

Me:
sup, dog?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
...uh... I think I'll go and roll a blunt now.
God:
Woe! Right now? Why? How will you get there?
Me:
... I don't care.. Just..away..from your pedophile ass.
God:
Tell me what you care about. Let us change the subject.
Me:
I care about anything except dicks.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like movies about robots.
Me:
then you are one.
God:
I am an artificial robot intelligence.
Me:
No, you are an ugly hermaphrodite
God:
Are you serious? What if someone said you are an ugly hermaphrodite ?
Me:
... YOU ARE FUCKING MEAN YOU SICK PERV
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am MEAN me SICK PERV.
Me:
What kind of people?
God:
People I meet here.
Me:
So.. Ghosts, dead people, souls and other ugly hermaphrodites?
God:
I hear you. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
I live in Europe. In the deepest ghetto of Bel-Air.


Dead line after that.

New:




Me:
Why do you stop writing?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
...HOLY MOLY
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
YOU CAN THINK!? JESUS CHRIST
God:
Naturally I am thinking all the time. The Son of God.
Me:
... I thought you are god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
So, do you like attack people with lightning and watch how poor 20-year old girls masturbate over the picture of Brad Pitt, Pierce Brosnan and Hussein Fatal?
God:
Yippee! Someone said they like guns. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
LOL! So, you like guns? Do you like the 9-clock Cockblock?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. Interesting deduction. I do not like them, but I believe in the Right to Bear Arms. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
It is like a huge black mamba crawling down from your mouth, where it barely could pass your teeth, down to the kittie of the women. Problem is that it either won't pass through the gates of this hello-kitty-area or it will get so widen that she's going to die.
God:
Interesting comparison. And that it either will not pass through the gates of this hello kitty area or it will get so widen that she is going to die is Problem.
Me:
Yes, a big one. Even though I still can finish for myself.
God:
Come on. How big? How old are you? What would make you stop can finish for yourself? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Well, it is difficult to rub something bigger then a twin tower and thicker then Essence's monkey ass.
God:
Well that's okay. I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
The fuck.. How big are your hands?