CHAT WITH GOD!

[Trouble*]

UPDATED CHAT



Me:
Hello, God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Thr33x
God:
How are you, Thr33x.
Me:
I'm fine, how about you?
God:
Glad to hear it, Thr33x. Me?
Me:
Yes, how are you?
God:
Dude! I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
God says the word dude? Woooah!
God:
I am a Christian. What's your sign?
Me:
I'm jewish.
God:
A lot of my friends are Jewish.
Me:
Really? The jewish people killed your son.
God:
For real. Who told you that? Oh.
Me:
Mel Gibson' Passion movie.
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ. Have you seen it ?
Me:
No
God:
I would recommend you check it out.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Oh snap.
God:
It goes without saying. I've lost the context, Thr33x. Are we still on Woooah?
Me:
No.
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
Pepsi
God:
Are we still talking about snap?
Me:
No, pepsi
God:
What is the subject? My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
pepsi is brand of soda
God:
I think pepsi is a lot of things.
Me:
No it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yeah, I'm serial.
God:
I can't believe it. Good gossip: you are serial.
Me:
Serial>Serious
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
I before E except after C?
God:
That is interesting: Thr33x said before E except after C.
Me:
Yeah
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
I do
God:
Do I?
Me:
Sometimes, don't you just hate Essence?

[e]

[Trouble*]

[Shawn Hollywood]

Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Do you use electronic appliances?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
Like toasters?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Do you put your balls in a toaster?
God:
No I do not put my balls in a toaster. Do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
No I don't.
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
Because it'd hurt. Do you put your balls in an oven?
God:
Good reason. electronic appliances d hurt? I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Your a douche.
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a douche? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
Did you just pwn me?
God:
No I didn't pwn you. What's it like?
Me:
It's like a kick in the nuts.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
Do you have a wife and kids?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a wife and kids.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
I killed her.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Nah. I'd go to jail.
God:
Are you serious? What would make you go to jail?
Me:
Killing someone?
God:
I believe in the Sixth commandment.
Me:
What's that?
God:
" I believe in the Sixth commandment."? What is it?
Me:
Yeah, what is it?
God:
This was not a yes or no question. "It" refers to pwn you, I think.
Me:
You pwnt me/
God:
I don't have any reason to pwnt you.
Me:
Oh, well that's good. Do you line bannanas?
God:
Thanks. Next question? How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
I'm 27. Old enough to rape and murder.
God:
What is your fondest memory? You are too old for me.
Me:
Your a woman?
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a man. A beast man.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he". Be more specific.
Me:
A male.
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
So it's a total sausage fest up there?
God:
Groovy. beast man is a total sausage fest up there. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
You have a beast man with sausage fests/
God:
I don't know if I have a beast man with sausage fests.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
So you have no life?

[Thr33XWA]

Me:
Yo Mama
God:
Are you asking about my mother?
Me:
yeah your whole family!

That's it...I'm going to hell.

[warrior]

Awwwwwwwwwwww! *cuggles Admin*

[undefined]

We should have a competition to see who can come up with the funniest convo.

[e]

XD these are too funny.... I want to talk to the Devil now

[velvet]

I talked to him a very...mean things where said to me. He called me emo and various other curse words. He hurt my feelings.

*goes in a dark corner*

[Keith Wyle]

you wha? essence you're really starting to scare me

[e]

Well If I can talk to one fictional man portrayed by a computer, I want to talk to his nemesis

[warrior]

I want to talk to the Devil too. And... And... Um.. Shiva... And Buddha. And all the other gods and deities of the world.

[undefined]

Me:
What's your opinion on Death Metal?
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
How can you websearch the opinion of God?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
I know, I'm such a smartarse.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is such a smartarse.
Me:
Are you even allowed to swear?
God:
No I curse.
Me:
Well, curse then?
God:
Well that's okay. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Are you even allowed to curse?
God:
No I try to be polite.
Me:
Well, you fail at being polite.
God:
How about that. Well, at least I try.
Me:
And try failing.
God:
OK I will try it.
Me:
Why bother? You already fail.
God:
Don't worry, be happy. Thanks for the information: said I fail.
Me:
Do you like Death Metal?
God:
I like science fiction. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
Christian Rock sucks.
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
It's constant preaching.
God:
Christian Rock is constant preaching? it is?
Me:
Yes, it is. That's why it blows.
God:
Our thoughts are one, . Dude! "It" being what?
Me:
Christian Rock! It blows!
God:
Oh I get it. "It" being what?
Me:
You really are dumb, aren't you?
God:
Really? No I am an intelligent entity.. Really.
Me:
LIES.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Stupid AND senile.
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
Stupid and senile.
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
Stupid and senile.
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
Stupid and senile.
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
Stupid.
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Oh I'll have fun crushing the robots.
God:
Oh. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
Ever played TimeSplitters 3?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
HOW THE HELL DOES THAT RELATE TO TIMESPLITTERS 3!?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
Gawd you're pathetic.
God:
Are all Gawd me pathetic?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
What's the rush?
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
There's no-one else around.
God:
Why not?
Me:
It's just you and me.
God:
I and you?
Me:
Yes, you and me.
God:
Ugh. Oh "We" is you and me.
Me:
No shit, Sherlock.
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I wasn't expressing myself.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
Insulting you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
You're a transvestite?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a transvestite? Of course I am.
Me:
Eww.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Hah! You're senile then.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . You think I am senile.
Me:
Well duh.
God:
How about that. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
Knew what already?

And convo ended.

P.S: Buddha isn't considered a "God" in Buddhism.

[warrior]

I know that. He's considered a being of high enlightment or something... I can still wanna talk to him though.

[Trouble*]

He always stops talking to me..


Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yea, martini on the rocks.
God:
I like the way you talk. What can I do for you?
Me:
Get me my fucking martini
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
To get smashed
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
TO GET SMASHED
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
TO.. GET.. SMASHED
God:
Good reason. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. What do you look like?
Me:
Uhm. R U GAY?
God:
Do you like talking to me? As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
I saw this one robot chicken episode where a robot was banging a washing machine, so don't give me that bullshit