Weakness Unto The Heart [Invite]

[Lilith]

Lilith was... not doing well. It seemed that Hayley's 'Teeth' proved to be more dangerous than Lilith had originally believed possible. The idea of what it IS Hayley could have meant was... devastating. More so to the point of HOW she could have... if she even did... Lilith slowly shakes her head. Her entire mental status was... fragile.

Like, in general of course. But right NOW? It was pulling off a nice little balancing act. Let's forget about the fact that she'd have to actually have a match with Jonas shortly. Yeah, that wasn't 'any' kind of weight on-top of everything else right now. No, or the potential link of what she was assuming the worst of involving her very OWN assistant Katja. Nah, that wasn't a 'worry' either. Totally.

Denial's a funny thing. It doesn't matter who you are. How much 'power' you have. How much 'respect' you've earned or demand/command. Denial is a stage of Grief. Of Mourning. Of Loss. Lilith was nestled nice and tightly in that. She sits in a folding chair. The center of her locker room. Staring down at her laced up boots. The fishnets she was known for, you know. Before they became a nifty accessory for any and everyone who was trying to be a 'bitch'. Her hands link themselves with her fingers under her gloves. Her jaw clenching, tightening.


...... You really -DO- hate me.. don't you.. I always said it as a nice little joke... but you really do.. what is it exactly, what about me does it for you?..

...

Is it my namesake'? Is it because the 'First' Lilith didn't bow down to your little sexist fascist pretty-boy?
Is it the fact I tried to become one like you? Because I still do? Is it because I try to understand 'him' instead of hate like all your flocks do? Because I don't buy into a nifty little Book that's covered in nothing but the Blood of HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF USELESS WASTED DEATH IN YOUR GOD-DAMNED NAME?!

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Lilith shouts out in rage. Primal rage. Arguing with 'herself'. Arguing with the 'air'. With -God-. Was that it, God? It's always easier to hate 'The Fallen' instead of trying to UNDERSTAND him. She refers not to Terra in the incarnation of those who classify him as 'him'. But 'HIM'. As in -THE- 'Him'. She curses at herself. At God. At the very existence of God. If he even did. But how could he not, for such travesties to occur in the face of one who questions so much about it all such as Lilith? More irony not lost on her. Her 'family' had raised her as a Catholic.

.... Shit.

Maybe the very fact someone 'like' Lilith had been raised in Religion made God hate her very core? Who knew. But Lilith knew right now? It was easy to blame him. Blame God. Blame the 'powers that be' for what she'd have to do. What she believed she had too. God... Dammit.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
30 Minutes Later - Backstage - Locker Room Area
---------------------------------------------------------------------

No point in changing. She'd have to compete sooner or later anyway. And frankly, as upset as she was. She always felt comfortable in her ring-gear. The feel of air pressing itself against the parts of her body that were exposed, the feel of peoples' stares. Be them 'friendly' or 'violent' still urged her on. Sadly, the effect of it all was considerably less than usual due to her predicament at the moment. She paces back and forth in place. Ignoring the various stage hands that pass by. And referees. And even a couple other members of the roster. Her head hung down low. She reaches up to her neck. She loved how the timing of all of this seemed to sink into place.

The new upgraded outfit she'd had made no longer had a slot for her ring. She'd decided it was too risky to wear it in the ring anymore. Just another tiny bit of irony laid down at her feet. Her fingers dig somewhat at the Leather-Clad modified top beneath her fingers. Feeling around at the 'Collar' if you will. A short huff of stifled laughter. No longer was the ring around her neck during this situation. She tightens the bands around her wrists before tossing her hair back in a half angry half depleted huff. It's amazing. No matter how much someone could hate Lilith, her looks almost always brought a sense of -want- into the equation. Even her outfits had been designed to capitalize on this. It's why she went back to a more 'retro-Lilith-look'. But none of that was giving her any confidence in this very second. It was somewhat tumultuously... superficially useless. Super. A heavy sigh. A quivering voice.

That doesn't escape her throat.

She lifts her left hand, slowly balling it into a fist. Irony kept slamming itself into her mind. Was this how it felt on the other side? On that day, was this the sensation of emotion, unease, disturbing forms of nerves clacking around in one's mind? How cute. How quaint. Hayley took Lilith in her faux Mental and Emotional 'Superiority', and tugged the rug out from under her. With two, sentences. Lilith laughs somewhat at the entire reality of it. She was getting too old for this. Her knuckles come down slightly, scraping against the door before finally slamming her fist against the door repeatedly. Once. Twice. Thrice. She opens her palm, resting it against the door while tilting her head back. Looking up at the ceiling above her before her voice cracks out under her breath and the sound of the busy bustling hall.

... I'm going to have to kill you if you aren't here you know.[/center][/font]

[Tha Nightmare 187]

"I really needed that..."

It had been maybe like ten or fifteen minutes ago since he had dropped the old school promo with some harsh words for Genesis and anyone else who had a problem with him. He figured he needed to take a quick shower in his locker room to clean up for the match and other activites ahead for the show. He'd been walking around his locker room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist when he began to hear a knocking at his door. He looked over with an eyebrow arched. Who could be coming to see him right now? He didn't know. He didn't have anyone he was supposed to meet with tonight. Did he? He could never tell with his damn 'roommates' running rampant whenever he turned his back. By the sound of the knocking, there might be some urgency on the other side of it. Like he needed to answer it right this second. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know something is wrong? Yeah. He could feel it. He probably wasn't going to have time to get dressed. Adrian took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh. Fuck it. We're all adults here. It's not like they haven't seen half naked men in this business before. He yelled out to whoever it was outside of his locker room...

"Hold on a second!"

He reached down and grabbed his towel with both hands. Then he made sure to tightly wrap it around his waist to make sure we don't have any wardrobe malfunctions with his visitor here. Adrian quickly made for the door and reached down for the doorknob. He turned it and pulled the door open slowly. When he caught sight of who it was on the other side of his door, Adrian just stood there wide eye. Stopping right in his tracks. It was her. Lilith. You know, that woman that's been running through his thoughts the past couple of weeks while she was wanting to be alone? Now, here she was. And here he was. Half naked at that. Fucking A. He swallowed hard and greeted her with...

"Well... Um... Hello, hello... stranger. Fancy meeting you... here. Heh, heh."

He laughed nervously. This was certainly an awkward situation. No more awkward than Lilith wandering her suite with nothing but a t-shirt and panties on when he went to go see her. But geez, could she have picked a better time? He was practically exposed here. It would have been still awkward with anyone else on the other side of this door with him like this. But this was worse. This was the one his feelings longed to connect to. And from the looks of her, it seems like she was in a bit of distress. And from the looks of him? He was basically naked, with the only thing hiding him from her being a towel. His bare scarred body from the history of violence he's been involved in. This was certainly going to be... interesting.

[Lilith]

Oh that's not helping.

Lilith grimaces in dismay at the state of Seven showing up at his door. She buries her face in her palms in annoyance before barging into his locker room. Past the door, and the half naked him. Lilith was not -embarrassed- by Seven's state. She was -aggravated- by it. Of course, Seven had no way of knowing what Lilith was thinking, or had just gotten through. So she couldn't blame him entirely.

Like, logically anyway.

... Right, so we need to uhm...

Lilith slides her hands down her face slowly. She huffs out, annoyance. Anger. Fear. Fun times. She begins undoing her wristbands slowly. For some reason her hands felt tense. Stress of course. But Lilith had a firm spot of denial about 'stress'. She had this belief that it didn't -exist-.

You heard me.

She was wrong, of course. But she was doing her best to believe her own thoughts about it. She undoes her right wristband, shaking it wildly around before finally flinging it to the floor below. She was freaking out here. She runs her fingers through her hair slowly, firmly. If she didn't love her hair so, she'd be at the point of pulling it out right now.

... Right. We need to talk. It seems... haha... it seems, that 'somehow'...

Lilith pauses. Biting her bottom lip. 'Somehow' indeed. She had a fairly good idea. There were three, three people who were on this Planet. That knew that -information-. Ones in the ground now. God rest Iggy. Lilith? Nooooo way Lilith gave that knowledge up. She had pondered for a moment if perhaps she had a condition involving sleep walking. But ruled it out pretty quickly. There was logically, theoretically, and in-all-absofuckinglutely-assumption; one.. person left in that equation.

Katja.

... It seems that 'somehow'... Hayley. You know, Hayley J. Mickey Mouse Tattoo Club President. With her bleach Blond hair and her big over sized lips, and her useless degradation outfits post-punk era...

Hayley Jonas. Has come across some... information... regarding, 'Us'.

Lilith begins yanking off her left wristband. Before it kind of hits her. The term 'Us' could be construed in a number of ways at the moment couldn't it? She spins around quickly. Glaring at Seven in his half-nakedness at the entrance to his own locker room.

I use the term 'Us' in somewhat of a strict sense at the moment. There are some... factors, regarding it's usage currently. But the fact remains... Jonas has acquired information regarding 'Us', our 'Relationship' over the years...

... And from the sounds of it..

.....

Lilith takes in a deep breath. She tosses her left wristband to the floor in a rage. Frantically struggling with the clasps of her gloves. She was PISSED. There were somethings Lilith had intended to Die with. You know, knowledge you don't tell anyone unless you absolutely trust them, or you have a guiding power OVER them that makes them fear you. Well guess what? Her powers OVER Katja wasn't cutting it these days.

....

She was going to have to CHANGE that.

Lilith grabs one of the folding chairs propped up against the far wall of Seven's locker room. She sets it up, sitting down in it slowly. Her head and upper body hung down low. Resting her elbows against her thighs. She breathes in slowly. Deeply. Harshly. Fucking BITCH! The RAGE almost blinds her past the Fear. But the concern is juuuuust strong enough to grasp her attentions once again. She laughs somewhat under her breath, biting down on her bottom lip. Her fingers lace themselves before she yanks both of her gloves off in a single motion.

... It seems she knows the parts of our 'Relationship' that -YOU-...

....

Don't.

Lilith drops her gloves to the ground alongside her fallen wristbands. Indeed. There was a portion of the 'Familial' relationship between herself and Seven, that the man known as Adrian 'Tha Infamous 187' Taylor..

Never, knew about.

Her eyes close firmly. Her bare hands covering up her face once more. Her knees slam together in rage before she huffs out heavily into her palms. Biting back the RAGE the FEAR the Un... Known..

Of what was about to happen.

[Tha Nightmare 187]

"Sorry about... uh... Not being properly dressed... Kind of just hopped out of the shower..."

He pushed the door to his locker room shut. That's all they would need right now was for someone to be walking by and catch them in this kind of situation. Him, half naked. Her so scared and so angry that she looked like she was on the brink of breaking into tears. You know those paparazzi bloodhounds would have a field day twisting the photos and story into such a knotted pretzel... Ugh. Sure. It would be cool to finally consider them a 'couple.' That's what he wanted, even if she didn't officially give him an answer. But now didn't seem to be the time to ask her if she got to think about the other day... This seemed serious. Guess that gut feeling he had in the pit of his stomach had some kind truth to it because he hadn't seen Lilith like this before. Well, other than when he dropped the bomb on her with his confession. But this would be the second time that he's seen her like this, and this time there seemed to be some involvement with him. Which he was completely unaware about. He'd been busy in their time apart. The interview in California, the meeting with Smith, the drama between him and Katana, the little beef with Genesis... He'd been busy. And it looks like the time alone was none too friendly to his friend Lilith. He slowly approached where she was sitting and said...

"But... uh... What did you say? Jonas has information about both me and you?"

He didn't know what information could be about. It was true that he knew Hayley Jonas. It was for a brief time, but the two were within arm's reach distance of each other before. Talking. He wasn't sure what the woman's opinion of him was. The last thing he could remember about that brief conversation was her giving him some support in the first of many wars he would be waging in his long, destructive career. What could be Hayley's motives? Sure. He knew that Lilith and Hayley didn't get along. But... what was this information about them? And what did Hayley intend to do with this information? He drew a breath and let out a sigh. This probably was serious considering Lilith's current mind state.

"There some information... Relating to both of us... That has something to do with the past... And I don't know about it? Forgive me, if I'm just a little bit confused about this, but... What information? This is the first I'm hearing about some secret information... Especially secret information that relates to us... about the past."

He retrieved a second folded steel chair inside his room so that he had a place to sit too. This seemed like one of those conversations that was going to require being seated because it was going to be a looong talk. So, he took a seat in the chair. Adjusting himself and the towel he was wearing, so as to not be sitting there with himself exposed to Lilith, but to also be sitting comfortably. He folded his arms across his bare chest and said...

"Would you mind enlightening me to what Hayley may have her hands on?"

[Lilith]

......

Do it fast. Like a band-aid. If you get it done and over with quicker it won't hurt as much-

She knows I care about you.

..

.... Hm. Maybe I was wrong.

Lilith clenches her jaw like a vice. She'd... known Seven since she entered this business. Six years. Six years of lingering emoti-

Oh I'm sorry. You didn't quite catch that? Here. Let's hear it again mmkay?

... She knows I care... about, you. Seven.
...

What you told me, in my suite back in New York. The feelings. Are not.. one-sided. Seven.

....

They are mutual.

There. Feel better?

Of course not.

Lilith felt like breaking her own jaw at the moment. Six years on and off. On and off. Lingering feelings through out other relationships. She'd have boyfriends, and her focus would be on them. They'd leave. It'd be free to roam around again, her focus that is. She'd have flings with women. She'd focus on them. It'd stop. It'd end. Her focus would run around again, rampant. She was not OBSESSED with Seven as she was with Amber. No. She didn't -care- about Amber. Well... I guess that's not fair to say either. Can you really be so overly obsessed with another human being, that you'd spend years upon years thinking about revenge, and violating their very flesh. Without some sort of emotional connection?

But that's not the point. Least not right now anyway.

No. This was quite serious. Lilith had been doing her best to avoid this. She really, really had. This would have been MUCH easier if, one;

Seven never HAD feelings for her.

Two; if she never HAD feelings for him.

And most of all three, if she'd been WEARING her Goddamn engagement ring. But nooooooooo. She was worried it might get damaged. It was nothing short of a miracle it hadn't in past years in the business. She didn't want to risk it anymore. But right, NOW? That fucking ring would have a nice sentimental grip over her emotional state she could lean on. Instead?

She's got, nothing. Say it with me class;

Nothing.

..... I'm fine with people being used 'against' me. It doesn't bother me much. People tried to use Jonny against me. That was a laugh. As if anyone could ever blackmail him with me...

....

The thought of Jonny hits Lilith hard. Really, hard. All of them did. Starry. Starry was still among the living. And because GOD, HATES, Lilith Creighton...

...

He was in the SAME, COMPANY that Seven moonlit in. Haha... hahahaah...

....
Not funny.

... People tried to use Starry against me. Threaten me with potential harm to the 'PWNDozer'.
... How high do you have to be, in order to think that shit would work? Starry took care of himself better than I can.

.... They used Alexis against me though. Quite well too...
Since that, I'd been more hesitant about... this sort of thing.

She shakes her head slowly, from side to side. She wasn't even sure if Seven could hear her at the moment. The impending bomb of her own may have deafened him to the World around him. She wouldn't blame him. After all, when he told her how he felt;

It deafened her.

... I'm not a very nice individual to a lot of people. There are few things I feel 'Shame' for. I almost never feel 'Embarrassed'. It's a lacking trait for a model. And my 'Moral Compass' is somewhat... warped in comparison to normal humans.

....

But I feel Guilt. I feel Guilt all the time. it hits me like a train everyday I wake up. If...

...

If someone were to use ME... against someone I cared about-

Lilith stops speaking. Not out of some, shocking event transpiring in the room. Not because she likes leaving people in suspense. Although, she REALLY does. No. She stops..

Because she can't talk, behind the tears.. anymore.

Lilith cradles her face back down into her palms. Biting down against her bottom lip. Breaking a part of the skin. The sensation of blood flows into her mouth as her eyelids squeeze down against one another. Tears breaking free at the corners. She couldn't take that. She couldn't take TALKING about it. She couldn't take THINKING about it. She couldn't take KNOWING...

.. It'd be a reality. If there was someone she could be used 'Against'.

It was her biggest fear. Her, biggest, fear. Not involving relationships. Not involving sex. Not involving the World. It was her legitimate BIGGEST, FEAR, PERIOD. The sense of Guilt that ran through Lilith's mind, body and heart - Despite popular belief saying she actually didn't have one mind you. That over active sense of Guilt, was strong. It was a driving factor for MANY things in Lilith's life.

Her drinking.

It was much easier to not care about ones emotions and feelings if one couldn't... feel, ones own hand properly.

Her 'hunting'.

Lilith loved attractive people. This was true. She was not a 'little bit' shallow. She was out and out 'get-the-fuck-out-of-the-deep-end-you-can-use-the-waves-to-hide-being-fat' straight up Shallow to the max. But the entire ideal behind 'hunting prey' was the very source of;

Not.. having a 'relationship' with them. Physicality was something that, although had led to Guilt in the past. Was by and by, a majority safe-zone for Lilith.

Guilt. It ran her. It controlled her. And right now?

It was -Breaking-, her.

[Tha Nightmare 187]

That loud ringing sound going on in his ear? Yeah. That would be the effect after hearing an atomic bomb being dropped in his lap. Well, it certainly did hit him hard. Surprisingly actually. It had been a looong time since the last time these two had shared the same space together. That moment when he made his confession had been fucking with him mentally. He'd lost lost sleep over. He'd replay the scene over and over in his head. He couldn't go anywhere without the thought being popped in his head. And now, it seemed like the shoe was on the other foot. It was Lilith who had come to him in a panic and hit him with a hard revelation about her own feelings. Her own feelings about him. About Adrian Taylor. She felt the same way about him that he does about her. But that wasn't all, there was something involving him being used against Lilith. Something that scared her to the point of tears. He'd never seen this woman cry. And his head was just swirling with the aftermath of the tornado that had blown through his skull. He had two emotions going on in his head right now.

The first being Joy. He had joy deep down inside of him. Why joy? Well, it's not often that Adrian found another human being on this planet that actually gave a damn about him. Yeah. He had the 'Family'. They were close. They didn't know his personal side beyond his extracurricular activities. They'd call each other 'Brother' and 'Sister' because that's how close they were. But they didn't KNOW him. Did any of them question his personal demons? No. Did any of them question his past? No. He didn't expect them to, but the point remained. They knew one side of him. They didn't know the whole story.

America's Most Wanted? He'd know Jayceon for years. They were as close as two guys could get without having a homosexual relationship. Jin was a pretty cool cat. And he knew the other dude from New York was a stone cold killer. But they were in the same boat as the 'Family.' They knew one side of him. They could have actually cared about him. He knew they did, but it wasn't on an intimate level.

His own bloodline? Well, he didn't know his father. Adrian was a bastard. Literally. The pussy walked out on him before he was born. He didn't know a mother could stop loving a son after what happened those 11 years ago. She was gone now. Cancer. His brother, God rest his soul, was also gone. His sister? She'd be about 18 years old now, if his math is correct. But he'd lost contact with her forever ago. Probably because the rest of his family rejected Adrian's letters. It's tough being a Black Sheep.

And the gang? Well, they were a gang. Treat you like family, but it's a dangerous tight rope you walk. Bloods kill Bloods. Crips kill Crips. You're affiliation can only carry you so far.

But Lilith? Lilith and him were very similar for being two people who didn't share the same DNA. And she cared for him. She CARED for him. He was surprised. Another human being cared for him. It was surprising? Why would another human being care about him? The 'Family' liked him because he was raw, he went to war, and he could bring it with the best of people. America's Most Wanted were linked through the criminal underworld and were close for being who they were. The Pirus back in California took him in because he didn't see nothing wrong with a little bloodshed to send a message to enemies.

But Lilith cared about him. Him, Adrian Taylor, a man known for not giving a fuck. A man known for attempting to murder people. Sometimes successfully, but you'll never be able to prove it. A man who got a kick out of causing others pain and enjoyed the sight of blood and the sounds of gunfire. You want the human equivalent of what a monster was? You're looking at him. True power was being willing to do what the other guy won't. He'd proven for years he'd be willing to step over any moral line to achieve his goal. It came with a price. He'd sit in his own solitude and drink himself silly from the nightmares of the pain he has caused from him criminal lifestyle. And this was the guy that Lilith cared about. It brought him joy because he cared about her. Deeply. They weren't too different. He understood her. He was sure she could understand him. It was a funny thing... Was this love?

There was a brief moment of hesitation. Was this wise? People he cared about often got hurt, or worse. His brother lost his life. His family grieved. The 'Family' got shot or blown up by someone trying to destroy them. The same went for his crew. The same went for the gang members that he were close to. People who got close to Adrian Taylor either died or they were hurt badly. Could he risk Lilith's physical well being? That hesitation was replaced with determination. He would NOT let that happen. Not again. He'd rather have a fucking bullet lodged in his own skull again, before he let someone threaten Lilith Creighton's life. He'd be in that poor soul's face with the barrel of an AK-47 shoved down their throat, making them shit bullets.

The second emotion that ran through his head was Concern. It was great knowing Lilith had feelings for him too. But someone has decided to play with fire again... Someone was planning on using Lilith against him. You could say that this concerned him, or rather, it kind of pissed him off. You know... That kind of feeling of being pissed off when you know you've told these fucking people before that they better not fuck with the bull or they'll get the horns? That kind of feeling of being pissed off when you have literally warned other human beings about the dangers of crossing that line when it came to involving him, only for them to shrug off your threats like it was nothing? How many fucking people does he need to leave in the ICU....? How many fucking people does he have to bury six feet deep...? How many Goddamn fucking people does he have to scar, burn, beat, bleed, bash, stomp, and cripple... before these fucking people realize that they're NOT untouchable? It was downright infuriating to know that there were people out there who fucking had the nerve to go after people he cared for. Fuck that.

He stood up from his seat. Lilith was hurting. She needed someone. She needed a friend. She needed him. And he was going to be there for her. He took a step forward toward her, closing the gap between them. Then he kneeled down, so that he could be eye level with her. Adrian reached up and placed his hands over hers. He slowly removed them from her face, so he could stare into her tear soaked eyes with that one good one he had left. Then, he said in a soothing voice...

"Shhh... There, there Lil'. Don't cry."

He moved a hand forward and placed it on her cheek. Wiping away a tear streaming down with his thumb. A smile formed across his face. Not that smirk that people were familiar with. Not that sinister sadistic toothy grin his 'roommate' wore. A smile. Something he doesn't genuinely do often. It was moving to see someone care for him so badly. He could almost feel a crack in that shield of ice around his heart. Was it beating? Was it growing? Did the fucking thing still work? Seemed like it because this... This right here? This was fucking real.

[Lilith]

....

Comfort was not something she could feel right now. Her mind was being split in two. Three, technically. She had a utmost desire of RAGE towards Katja, and Hayley. She had a sense of impending FEAR at the revelation period. And a looming sense of GUILT for the fact that she'd just reveled she had emotional feelings for someone..

....

While chasing after Amber for her body and purposes of Revenge. Yeah. That one's kind of hurting right now.

She knew what this meant. Part of it, anyway. Her own emotions were ALWAYS unstable. But right now? She had -no- control over them. She was in no shape for 'War'. She had a bad... bad feeling about this. Her eyes close tightly once again, shaking her head from side to side. The words that came from Seven were meant with good intent. But it didn't matter at the moment now did it? A friendship is a... token idea for someone like Lilith. Someone like Seven. Both, had now risked that. Because of a chemical reaction within the core of their Brains. That's what 'Emotions' were. People talk about feeling it in their heart, something just 'telling' them when they feel this or that. Nonsense.

It was all chemical. Virtually everything on the Planet could be explained with Science. She knew, logically. The sensation of 'Fear' was a cortex reaction from another synapses reaction known as 'Memories'. She knew that. Logically. If she could stop the flow of emotions, and look at it through a cold lens of mechanical Science, this would be easy as fuck.

She can't d that, right now.

No... no no... you don't ge-..

She slowly leans back in her chair. Pulling her face and hands out of reach. She buries her face in her palms again as she breathes in and out deeply. Harshly. She was cracking. Cracked. Same thing. She springs up from the folding chair, kicking it over before looking around in a panic in Seven's locker room. She spots what it is she desires at the moment. She rushes over to the far wall, picking the phone up off of it's hook. Rapidly dialing numbers, clicking and clacking under her fingertips. She turns to face Seven. A few tears still streaming down her cheeks as she raises her finger up to her lips. Brushing off some of her own blood. She crushes the fragment of her DNA in-between her fingertips before the other line picks up. A rage of words escapes her.

Have you lost your GODDAMN MIND?! You told JONAS? You gave away my INFORMATION? My PRIVATE LIFE?!

.....

The other line begins to respond softly. Timidly. Of course..

It's Katja.

... People do things they believe are right. I divulged that particular information with the best of inten-

BEST INTENTIONS?! You gave Hayley information about my LOVE LIFE WITH THE BEST OF INTENTIONS?!

Lilith snaps her head back, slamming the receiver down against the face of the phone jack. Not hanging up, but beating the hell out of the poor plastic faceplate shot after shot. She doesn't break the phone. Remarkably. One of those few miracles that AREN'T against Lilith. The voice softly peeps up once more.

- ... That was quite rude. I'm trying to explain why I did- YES! I would very much to know WHY you did this. - .. As I was saying. I believed it was the right thing to do. I believe that you are... Are what, what am I Katja? You tell me. You've never TREATED ME like your BOSS, you've never TREATED ME like I- You... are a Virus. Lilith.

... What did you just say..

Lilith was... already at a tipping point. The situation? The... whole, situation. Was too much for her to handle without losing some grain of sanity. Thankfully Six years in this business grew a bit of a tolerance for these kinds of situations. But this, this was a first. Her PERSONAL ASSISTANT. Goes 'Rouge' on her. Insider trading style information is given to one of Lilith's most HATED individuals. For a reason nothing more than defined as her 'best intent'. And then, AND, THEN. Her -Personal Assistant- calls her a VIRUS?!

Snap, goes, the twig.

... I have a 'respect' for you in the sense of you having employed my Step-Father for as long as you did. He claims he saw... 'softness' within you. A 'gentleness'. I... do not believe him. I see you as a threat. To things you, and those around you, hold dear.

You infect, a company. You thrive, in the company. Then...
It, dies.

You.. can be described as a Virus. A... Parasite. You have the talent and ability, to be a good thing for such a industry... yet you seek nothing more than self-fulfillment and destruction. But despite it all... my Step-Father stood by you steadfast. I want to see.. which of us is -right-.

.....

The other line goes dead. Lilith's face, was numb. The sound of beeping is the only thing left behind in the receiver. Her fingers coil around the body of the phone. Slowly. Her grip begins to tighten. Her face seems to be... frozen, at the moment. Her tears have stopped for the moment. Suddenly it all just...

Goes to hell.

... AhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Lilith lets out a severely, loud, primal cry of... everything. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Depression. Fear. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. She hoists up the receiver and SLAMS it down against the phone-jack. The face plate cracks, the jack is torn down from the wall and meets it's end below Lilith's heel. She crushes the phone repeatedly. Over and over her heel drives into it. She finally collapses in a heap, slumped over on her hands and knees above the phone. Tears flowing down from her eyes too her cheeks and fall to the ground below. Her hair now in a mess. Flowing over her shoulders and neck. She just... didn't. There's not even a end to that sentence. Lilith simply just...

Didn't.

[Tha Nightmare 187]

Lairota: "There goes the phone. Damnit. And just when I was about to order some pizza...."

For fuck's sake. Here comes the dark shadow to wreck the day. Standing there, leaning up against the wall with an eyebrow cocked. It was bad enough that he didn't know how to respond to Lilith's emotional outbursts, but now Lairota was here to offer his 'words of wisdom'. He wasn't an expert in how to deal with these situations. You know... He tries to play the role of the understand friend who want to let her know that everything will be okay. But it doesn't seem like that is going to ever work because every time he tries... It seems to get shot down. How the Hell is he supposed to get this woman to reciprocate any other action or emotion that didn't result in screaming and breaking things?

Lairota: "Well, if it ain't working... Then do something else, fool. Shit. I would've thought you'd learn this the first time you fuckin' tried to be all touchy-feely. What? You thought she'd turn to putty in your hand? She'd be the one to kiss you this time? Fuckin' A. You're beginning to worry me."

Maybe Lairota was right. This whole being sentimental thing was only leading to Lilith rejecting his advances. He didn't know. This was a tense time for Lilith and maybe that's why she's doing this. Or maybe she doesn't know how to act around him? Maybe it was that fear in her voice about losing someone she cared about. Maybe if she got too close to him, it would only hurt more if she gave in to her feelings. He didn't know.

Lairota: "Personally... I don't know what the big fuckin' deal is. Hayley knows you and Lilith are practically an item and this apparently has Lilith flying off the handle. Why? I don't fuckin' know, either. Maybe you just ought to perform some open hear surgery on Jonas and give Lilith her heart. Might have better luck if you started fuckin' getting back to who you really are on the inside. Ya know... Be the monster you are."

Adrian stood up off of the floor and his gaze shifted over to Lilith. Again, maybe Lairota was right. Lilith responded when Lairota had been pushing him. Tribute to the Troops? Yeah. She was teasing him. But teasing him was at least something more than pulling away and refusing to let him inside her head. This relationship thing was fucking complicated, especially with emotions involved. Ugh...

Lairota: "Look. Just fuckin' ask her what she's so damn scared of already and form some kind of plan to counter Jonas. Ya know... I've already got a few ideas of how to send a message to ol' girly. Hahaha. But ask her what the deal is and maybe we'll all learn a thing or two... Yeah? Got to say something sooner or later. Sitting there in silence isn't exactly reassuring to the blind."

He drew a breath and exhaled a sigh. Maybe Lairota was right. If he could get a better idea of what Lilith was thinking, he could probably know what he was supposed to do now. Adrian began to walk over to where Lilith was. Then he began to say to her...

"I take it, you found out who gave Hayley the information about us. Yeah? Well, I'm not quite sure what Hayley knowing about us is such a bad thing. I mean, is it a bad thing? Am I something to be ashamed of? What are you afraid of Lil'? That this information making it's way into the public will have some disastrous effects? That I'm somehow in danger because of this? Are you in danger? I guess I'm just feeling a little left out of the loop since... You know... We haven't seen each other since... That day... And I'm guessing some serious shit went down in my absence. So, help me out here. What's going on? And what do we do about it?"

[Lilith]

Katja... it was Katja..

The words drift from her lips in a tone of serious anger. She'd been betrayed. She wasn't.. so much 'surprised' as she was FURIOUS. Katja was the Step-Daughter of Iggy. She loved Iggy. She really did. Not as a romantic interest, no no. But she truly trusted him. And considered him... almost family. Something she could rarely say for any Male on this planet. So even though Katja seemed 'unique' when they had first met, she had thought she'd give the Chibi-Russian a chance.

.....

This mistake, must be rectified.

.. Of course it's a bad thing. I don't know how YOU know Hayley, but she and I are not the best of friends... she's taken a lot from me..

Lilith slowly begins to get up off of the locker room floor. She leans her head against the wall infront of her before taking in a deep breath. Indeed. Jonas took Lilith's Sister. Was she now trying to take Seven by helping destroy the 'Familial' relationship with him? But more importantly, the string of curiosity... though well founded and earned by Seven at this point..

....

Upset Lilith.

... Ashamed... hah..

Of course I'm ashamed. Are you kidding me? You were part of The Familia. You were close to.. all of my ex boyfriends. All of them. In one way or another. Of COURSE I'm ashamed I have feelings for you!

I had them for you during times I was still with THEM SEVEN! Do you have any idea how BAD that makes me feel?! Knowing that even if it was only but a second, when I was with Jonny or Starry-

FUCK! He's in the same Goddamn company in the 'Empire' to boot!

Guilt Seven. It's all nothing but more GUILT for me. You're hated by a LOT of people in this company, but you're loved by a equal amount;

I am NOT!

You're all bad and hardcore and a legitimate threat, but you have FANS. You have SUPPORT. You have ALLIES.

I, DON'T.

I don't know how you survived this business for this long, especially considering the majority of the 'Family' ended up splitting and going their separate ways. But at least you still had a SUPPORT, SYSTEM.

I, do not have, that luxury. When I go out in that ring, when I talk on a mic, when I'm interviewed by some dumb-ass biased-as-a-right-wing-liberal-fuck; The only thing I have backing me is my belief in and OF THE MOMENT;

THAT I, AM, RIGHT!

And RIGHT NOW?! I don't have that!

Fear. In case you couldn't hear it. The majority of Lilith's voice was laced with Fear. There was Rage and Depression, Loss and Immobilization sure. But Fear, it was the main ruler right now. Did you blame her? She turns from the wall, walking past Seven in a huff. Pacing around in the locker room. Her fingers trail through her hair slowly before she exhales out in a half groan half huff.

.... Yes. 'That day'. That day started all of this.

......

This is all your fault.

Totally. That's what you do in a situation like this. Blame the half-blind guy. Good moral values. But Lilith was desperate, she was grasping at straws. And her grip wasn't that great. The mere fact she had just yelled at Seven alone made her feel MORE Guilt. That fucking emotional reaction would be the death of her. It really would.

.... I'm sorry- look I.. I need to...

Lilith throws her hands up in the air. She has little course left at this point. She bends down, snatching up her gloves and wristbands before heading to Seven's locker room door. She stops for a moment, tilting her head back fully. A exhale of hot, angry, scared breath leaves her. How was this any different from 'that day' at this point? She slowly shakes her head from side to side. Biting down on her bottom lip.

.... You know I'm obsessed with Gianni, don't you? She's why I came here Seven. She's why I stayed in New York after my shoot was done. It was Amber. Not you. It was never supposed to be you.

She speaks out, her voice as stable as it could be. She was telling the truth. Her obsession, the driving force, was Amber Gianni. It's really that simple. Most of the company knew it after the war of word-... Oh hell. Lilith slowly closes her eyes. Jonas...
.. Fuck.

Lilith shakes her head again. She spins around quickly;

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Permission Granted
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Lilith slumps herself, her body, against Seven's chest. She doesn't wrap her arms around him. She doesn't run her fingers down his chest. She simply, leans her body against his. Lilith was not one of those stick-figure models. She was 5'10 and weighed 163lbs. But up against the frame of Seven. She seemed... small. Vulnerable. And that.. was a definite truth. She pushes off of Seven's body, her fingertips linger for a second against his exposed chest before she tears herself back to his door, opening it swiftly and escaping out through it. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't know what she was going to do once she got there. But right now, she couldn't be in Seven's locker room. She just couldn't. A new sense of Guilt was creeping into her now.

The Guilt of caring for both Seven... and Amber, at the same time.

[Tha Nightmare 187]

Lairota: "And just like that... She's gone."

...said his dark shadow, watching Lilith make her quick exit out of the locker room. Adrian waited for the door to be completely shut before he shifted his attention to his 'roommate.' This was some really heavy stuff that had been laid on him tonight. He was probably never going to be able to understand what was going on in that woman's head until she finally decides to truth him. But for now... He was glad to know that she had some feelings for him. Sure. It wasn't doing her mental health any good. He wished he could fix that, but it wasn't that easy. She was feeling guilty for having feelings for him for the past several years since they've known each other. During that time, she was with guys that she claimed to have loved while he was on her mind. That's not exactly something easy to admit.

He could understand that. Look at the fucking hole he's dug himself into right now. He's got a child somewhere out there in this small world with a woman who he didn't have feelings for. Yeah. He liked Kenisha Williams. He liked her like she was a sister, but that was about as far as it went. When she confessed her feelings for him, it was strange. He went along with it. He didn't know why. Maybe he figured that what little bit of interest someone of the opposite sex had in him was all he was going to get. He wasn't an easy person to fall for. Yet, he's got a son out there and that bridge was going to be crossed eventually. Here he was. Developing a relationship with another woman who he truly had feelings for, while he's got a kid with a woman he didn't love. The fuck.

Plus, there was that business she just mentioned about being obsessed with Amber Gianni. That was something that would have to be dealt with. He didn't want to share Lilith with anyone, even the the look on Lairota's face lit up at the thought of that. For now, he was going to have to wait and let Lilith have some time to figure this out.

Lairota: "Time? What? You fuckin' thinking about 'time'?"

"What?"

Lairota: "Oh my God. I think I'm going to fuckin' punch you in the face if you ask any more stupid questions. Just listen."

"Okay."

Lairota: "The woman cares about you. This must we finally know is true. She's hurting. She's feeling guilty. Why? I don't fuckin' know. I mean, seriously... You two were fuckin' made for each other. You guys are only now realizing this shit. And it's just all fucked up because... Ya know... Those damn feelings get in the way. But... The woman cares about you. You care about her. It's a start."

"What about Jonas?"

Lairota: "You knew her for what? Like a total of ten or twenty minutes six years ago?"

"Something like that. I mean, it's not like we walked away from each other on bad terms. She actually seemed to take a liking to me. Told me to go out and whip some ass."

Lairota: "Yeah. But that was six years ago. A lot can change in six years. Plus, she knows you got a thing for Lilith and Lilith has a thing for you. Probably going to lower her opinion of you a little. You know how damn fickle people can be."

"What do we do about her?"

Lairota: "Well, I could get a little creative. No one is fuckin' untouchable. Everyone has a weak point. And I'm sure I can find something to get her heart pumping."

"What about Katja?"

Lairota: "Oh yes. The little French Maid who has become quite the thorn in our side, considering we fuckin' brought her some damn Vodka to drink. Really fuckin' rude of her to turn around and stab us in the back. Like we're the bad guys here. Personally? Can't say about her. She's Lilith's personal assistant. I can't exactly have a little bit of fun with her without feeling like Lilith would feel some sort of way about losing her personal assistant. Who you think she'd point the finger at if her little French Maid went missing? You got this far. Ain't no fuckin' that up."

"Yeah... Ugh... Someone up there must fuckin' hate me. I'm like a damn ant and the magnifying glass is pointed right at me. Can this shit get any worse?"

Lairota: "Sure. It can. But we got other shit to do tonight. You've got to deal with not only that whiny little bitch Genesis, but ya got some obligations to fulfill with Smith when he faces Katana. So... Get dressed. Get ready. And get a move on. Can't fucking sit around here in your towel all Goddamn night."

END