Are we having fun yet?(STE)

[punch]

RA Tha Rugged Man plays, the crowd cheers, and into the arena comes the one, the only...


!!!JONNY PUNCH!!!

A mic in one hand, "The Stick" in the other, Punch heads down to the ring. Once inside, as the fans continue to rant and rave seeing "The" Jonny Punch, he speaks.

I want to 1st off thank the XWA legal team for helping me out with some stuff. You see, last year when we came to Italy, There was this thing that happened in Rome that involved my pet monkey Knuckles, a local eatery and a brick of C4. Seriously, I have NO IDEA where the hell he got it from. But, thanks to the crack team of french lawyers under Mr. G's employ, I'm allowed to come to Italy...once a year. *Eh heh* Under the watchful eye of Italian NSA. Hey, at least I'm still gettin' paid for it.

Anywayz, last week, I might have over reacted a lil' bit to that last joke Syrus cracked on my mom. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe just a bit. But, I got to vent some pent up anger last week to. And come on people, like Syrus even felt that shot with the stick, or the times I bonked him over the melon with a chair. That fro of his could probably withstand nuclear fallout. He could be dead in his grave for 30 years with nothing left of him but bones and tater clothes and his Afro would still be...DY-NO-MITE.

Uhm...

Ok, bad What's Happening reference. But in the right light, you could mistake Syrus for Dwayne. I mean...just look.

Points points to the Jumbotron and this pops up.



Willy: OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!

Punch does the Jewish "I unno" shrug as the crowd bursts into laughter.

Wow, I dunno what's worse. The fact that Phil in the production truck managed to find that on such short notice, or that there's Italians that have seen What's Happening before.


He shrugs again.

Alright, alright. I came out here, because all good things must come to an end. And tonight is time for me and Syrus to settle up like men. And how do men settle up? Kickin' each others asses, that's how! Only question is how are we gonna do it. A Table match maybe? Maybe usin' that cage hangin' above the ring that A.Cee and Morning Star are gonna kill each other in later tonight? Questions abound. So maybe you can come on out here and offer up a few suggestions, eh Fro-Do? Let's hear it.

And the wait begins for Syrus to appear.

[Syrus The Entertainer]

Seconds later...

CAN YOU DIG IT?

CAN YOU DIG IT!!??

CAAAAAAAAN YOOOOOOOOOOOU DIGIIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!

The now iconic warcry of Syrus' entrance to the arena echoed loud and clear as the man walks down the the ring with another interestingly peculiar item.

Matt: Is that a gift box?

Buzz: It is! Look, it's got a freakin' purple bow on it! What the eff?

He climbs into ring with a microphone in one hand.

Alright now, um...guys in the truck, can we get that picture up on the screen?



Aight now, it looks like you've still got some jokes, don't you? Well brotha, Dwayne ain't got nothing on this do! I mean, I can't front, that's impressibe, but me? Check this out...

He sets down the gift box and pulls out the classic metal afro comb with the fist at the end and starts to demonstrate. The metal teeth seamlessly comb through his hair like nothing at all.

Look at that baby! Silky smooth! That's Pantene Pro-V, Vidal Sassoon and a little bit VO5 all in one!

Buzz: Bet he needs the whole bottle for one wash.

But yeah, what I came down here for tonight though is to apologize myself for that last momma joke last week. Even Sonya looked at me after that and said "that's not cool". So...I went and got you a little gift, well, not so little...as a sign of comradery before this match. Think of it as...good faith between sportsmen.

With that, he picked back up the gift box and had a big 'ol Kool-Aid smile on his face as he extended it to Punch.

Buzz: Uh, I don't think I'd open that if I were Punch. Syrus looks a little TOO happy.

[punch]

Punch examines the box for a few seconds. He gives it the ol' smell test, then the sniff test, then checks to hear if it was ticking.

Buzz: That's what I call bein' a lil' to cautious. C'mon man, open it!

He pops open the box a little, and nothing happens. A little bit more, still nothing. He the pulls the lid off completely and...


















BANG!!!


It explodes in his hands, and he gets a face full of purple paint.


OH GOD!!! MY EYES!!! MY EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEES!!!

Punch fumbles around the ring a bit trying wipe the paint off of his face. When he does, he grabs back up the mic he'd dropped when Syrus' act of terrorism was perpetrated. Punch rants, shaking his finger at Syrus while doing so.

I bet you thought was funny ha ha, didn't you? It's gonna take a hour to get this crap offa' me!!! I'm gonna go backstage, I'm gonna clean this stuff off, and then...I'm gonna clean your CLOCK!!!

Punch finds himself storming out of the ring one more time. Syrus would only watch and chuckle as Punch tried to wipe a little more of the paint off of his face as he departed from the ring.

Tony: Kinda sad to see it end. I haven't laughed this much in years, but later tonight, it's Syrus The Entertainer and Jonny Punch, one more time. Something tells me it's gonna be one we won't soon forget. Let's send it to Joe Beakman backstage, who's standing by with...

The End.