Post by Chris Dynamite on Sept 28, 2009 20:02:33 GMT -5
The camera pans down from the sky and shoots along a highway, flying past flash cars and bright lights we arrive at the front door of a very fancy house. The camera pans through the interior into a mahogany and gold study, a plush leather chair turns to face us…and Chris Dynamite is revealed!
Welcome one and all to the first ever edition of… The Hot Spot
This webcast is me giving back to all of you, my adoring fans, and grudging admirers. To all of you who want just a bit more of a glimpse into the glory that is my everyday life, you can find it here!
Chris gets up, smirks at the camera, and walks over to one of the bookcases…
So for this, our inaugural edition of The Hot Spot, we will be having a little ‘Knowing Me, Knowing You’ session. However, since I don’t want to know anything about your frankly pathetic little lives it will be – as it always is – all about me! You see, I wasn’t born the superstar you see here today, no I was born just like all of you – only better!
He puts on a mocking wistful gaze for a moment before turning back to the camera,
From a young age I knew I was special, and born to entertain, and the wrestling ring, the packed arenas, and WorldWide broadcasts offered me the perfect stage. So I trained, starting young at the Croft Wrestling Foundation in Fulham…
Maybe not the most glamorous foundation, but believe it or not I did learn to wrestle there. But a star like me quickly outgrew to London wrestling scene, and my eyes turned across the pond, to America. So I packed up my things, left behind the world of doctor parents and English gyms, and headed here… to the School of Hard Knocks in Memphis Tennessee!
And suddenly potential, became star power! Made my first bit of history as the first ever student to win all three of his graduation contests, moulded myself into the sort of superstar our generation needs, and had my first run in with Johnny Starr…
…Chris shakes his head, and looks back to the camera,
Another story for another time, and to be honest he’s not worth wasting screen time on! Any-whooo, the star was born and I headed out into the world. And I made my home in one particular fed, based particularly in the California area. And the star burned bright, I carried that company, put it on the map, it was carried by my spotlight…
He stares at the photo for a second, and laughs…
Yikes! Didn’t I look the little indy fed punk wannabe?!? Jeeeez! Buuuttt it all went sour, and in spectacular fashion, might I add!
he turns to look straight at the camera,
You see I don’t really do thinks by halves… obviously, I mean look how committed I am to my losing streak! laughs and turns back to the photo album he is pretending to flick through Yeah, so apparently it turns out that wrestling promoters, and CEOs take it badly when their son gets his ass kicked just to get a reaction…
…Ah that was a crazy night! But apparently the boss didn’t like it so whooopppss out I went! And where does a free spirit go? Well round the world, I did Mexico with La Familia Gutierrez, and Japan with, well everyone! And then I got the call, hopped on a plane and flew straight here to the XWA. The rest…as they say… is history. History which I am still writing mind you!
He walks out of the study and out into the hall…
So that is my life in a nutshell, now I’m sure you all feel much closer to me, so I’ve wasted enough time with you, so get out… wait! Actually before you go I have one more treat for you all. Introducing to you The Hot Spot’s Hot Or Not?! Where a celebrity panel help us to decide what’s Hot, and what’s Not… let’s meet our panel…
Comedian, actor, and wannabe tv host Cedric the Entertainer, failed Vice-President wannabe Sarah Palin, and Chuck Norris… and this weeks topic is ME!!
So the big question for our judges is; CHRIS DYNAMITE – HOT OR NOT??
Cedric?
Hot
Good Call, oh and by the way loved you in Barbershop. Seriously, best movie about a hairdressers I’ve ever seen!
Former governor Palin, what do you say?
Not!
Chris stares at her with shock and horror..
What?!? I… What?!? He superkicks her what the hell do you know? You lost a Presidential campaign!!
So it’s down to you Chuck Norris, Hot or Not?
Hot!
Visibly relieved Thank You Chuck Norris…
Thank You Chris
Well, that’s all we have time for. So remember although you can’t be me, do your best to be like me. Your life will be better for it. Now get out of my house…
as the screen fades to black and the credits roll…
right, now lets get out of this damn house before the owners get back…
Welcome one and all to the first ever edition of… The Hot Spot
THE HOT SPOT
This webcast is me giving back to all of you, my adoring fans, and grudging admirers. To all of you who want just a bit more of a glimpse into the glory that is my everyday life, you can find it here!
Chris gets up, smirks at the camera, and walks over to one of the bookcases…
So for this, our inaugural edition of The Hot Spot, we will be having a little ‘Knowing Me, Knowing You’ session. However, since I don’t want to know anything about your frankly pathetic little lives it will be – as it always is – all about me! You see, I wasn’t born the superstar you see here today, no I was born just like all of you – only better!
He puts on a mocking wistful gaze for a moment before turning back to the camera,
From a young age I knew I was special, and born to entertain, and the wrestling ring, the packed arenas, and WorldWide broadcasts offered me the perfect stage. So I trained, starting young at the Croft Wrestling Foundation in Fulham…
Maybe not the most glamorous foundation, but believe it or not I did learn to wrestle there. But a star like me quickly outgrew to London wrestling scene, and my eyes turned across the pond, to America. So I packed up my things, left behind the world of doctor parents and English gyms, and headed here… to the School of Hard Knocks in Memphis Tennessee!
And suddenly potential, became star power! Made my first bit of history as the first ever student to win all three of his graduation contests, moulded myself into the sort of superstar our generation needs, and had my first run in with Johnny Starr…
…Chris shakes his head, and looks back to the camera,
Another story for another time, and to be honest he’s not worth wasting screen time on! Any-whooo, the star was born and I headed out into the world. And I made my home in one particular fed, based particularly in the California area. And the star burned bright, I carried that company, put it on the map, it was carried by my spotlight…
He stares at the photo for a second, and laughs…
Yikes! Didn’t I look the little indy fed punk wannabe?!? Jeeeez! Buuuttt it all went sour, and in spectacular fashion, might I add!
he turns to look straight at the camera,
You see I don’t really do thinks by halves… obviously, I mean look how committed I am to my losing streak! laughs and turns back to the photo album he is pretending to flick through Yeah, so apparently it turns out that wrestling promoters, and CEOs take it badly when their son gets his ass kicked just to get a reaction…
…Ah that was a crazy night! But apparently the boss didn’t like it so whooopppss out I went! And where does a free spirit go? Well round the world, I did Mexico with La Familia Gutierrez, and Japan with, well everyone! And then I got the call, hopped on a plane and flew straight here to the XWA. The rest…as they say… is history. History which I am still writing mind you!
He walks out of the study and out into the hall…
So that is my life in a nutshell, now I’m sure you all feel much closer to me, so I’ve wasted enough time with you, so get out… wait! Actually before you go I have one more treat for you all. Introducing to you The Hot Spot’s Hot Or Not?! Where a celebrity panel help us to decide what’s Hot, and what’s Not… let’s meet our panel…
Comedian, actor, and wannabe tv host Cedric the Entertainer, failed Vice-President wannabe Sarah Palin, and Chuck Norris… and this weeks topic is ME!!
So the big question for our judges is; CHRIS DYNAMITE – HOT OR NOT??
Cedric?
HotGood Call, oh and by the way loved you in Barbershop. Seriously, best movie about a hairdressers I’ve ever seen!
Former governor Palin, what do you say?
Not!Chris stares at her with shock and horror..
What?!? I… What?!? He superkicks her what the hell do you know? You lost a Presidential campaign!!
So it’s down to you Chuck Norris, Hot or Not?
Hot!Visibly relieved Thank You Chuck Norris…
Thank You Chris
Well, that’s all we have time for. So remember although you can’t be me, do your best to be like me. Your life will be better for it. Now get out of my house…
as the screen fades to black and the credits roll…
right, now lets get out of this damn house before the owners get back…
