INVASION!!! (Invite)

[Syrus The Entertainer]

Overload comes back from a commercial break...and suddenly...

Can You Dig It?

Tony: What the...!?

CAN YOU DIG IT!?

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN YOOOOOOOOOOU DIGGIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

The crowd gets to their feet as "Get Real" begins to play...and all eyes are on the stage.

Tony: That's the theme of the former XWA World Champion, Takedown's Syrus The Entertainer...but what is it doing playing here?

Tony gets his answer when from up the side of the stage rolls out a purple painted tank with the man standing on top of it.

Willy: You gotta be kiddin' me.

Tony: Syrus The Entertainer is in the house...apparently, and what an entrance he makes! But that's still not answering why the heck he's on Overload?

Willy: I done seen everythang now...a purple tank? Look at the treads on it! Is those custom rims? On a TANK!?

The man's all smiles as he soaks in the response from the crowd. STE's decked out in some rather loud purple camouflage, topped off with a purple helmet that barely fits on his heavily afro'd head. He points to the rafters over the ring, and without warning the tank's cannon fires toward it, resulting in a purple pyrotechnic shower!

Syrus then whips out a mic.

So, I know what you're thinkin'. What is Syrus doing on Overload again? Well, seeing as big Ethan Bain is making a guest appearance on TakeDown, I convinced the powers that be to let me come around and rep for "team red".

Now first off, lemme give a shout out to the new XWA World Champion, Tommy Tryton. I ain't even gonna front my bald, non-negro brotha...you came out on top, and now the strap's all yours. You better hold on to it tight though, cuz here and now...the STE is putting up his rematch clause for that little thing they call The Devil's Playground! So whether you're one of the other men in that match or not, imma be there, and imma be lookin' to get back that belt!

Tony: Well then, it's official...Syrus is putting himself into the Devil's Playground at Devil's Night 2009! That's one down, five to go...

Which brings us to tonight. Everything about Overload's all serious...once again it's up to your boy to up the entertainment value, cuz there's one thing that my old buddy Maggie said on TakeDown that I kinda agree with...if Overload is the new "standard" of the XWA...how come Takedown's got all the main event spots? Like Stan said earlier, OL's only got one more chance coming up at OTS to get SOMEBODY from this show into the main event at XGAMES...so fellas, it's time to start showin' and provin'!

Willy: That's kind of a low blow, brotha!

Tony: I'm not happy about myself either...but TD's got the "Braggin' Rights" right now.

So with that said, I wanna piece of some action! I want one of Overload's baddest mamma-jammas! I got me an open dance card...and as most of you already know, I love to dannnnnnnnnnnn!!!

Suddenly a vid pops up on the jumbotron...















Tony: ...

Willy: ...

Tony:

...and Syrus hops off the tank and makes his way to the ring.

Like my new entrance video? Ha-Haaaaaaaaaah!!!! Aight, ya'll...let's get somebody out here to accept the Purple challenge, and get things as you Brits like to say...CRACKIN'!!!

And almost instantly, the theme of the person who answers definitely turns some heads.

Willy: Oh snap.

Tony: Oh God...

[punch]

It was R.A. The Rugged Man's "Lessons", which could only mean one thing.

!!!JONNY PUNCH!!!

As he steps out from behind the set, the camera zooms in to show him with a perplexed and rather disturbed look on his face. From the pocket of his pants he whips out his mic, and walks down to the tank.













He stops next to it, and blankly stares into the camera.













Right now, there are dead World War II soldiers turning in their graves.

He looks down to the treads of the tank.

What in the HELL is that about? Spinners? On a Tank? What, did you call Xhibit to put this piece of crap together? I bet there's a big screen TV and a wine pouring robot inside of this thing, isn't there?

He peers around to the fans in the arena.

So people. Maybe one of you folks in the stands can answer me this. Syrus is here to *ahem* "Up the entertainment value" of Overload. But...he's going to do it in Purple camo, riding into an arena on a Gay Tank? This damn thing may as well be rainbow. The only way anyone, and I do mean anyone, would find this even the slightest bit entertaining, is either if they have the LOGO channel as one of their favorites, or if they're so god damn high right now that they see EVERYTHING in purple, not just this poor tank.

He pats the side of the tank a couple times.

I know...you were a man once.

Punch sighs and continues into the ring.

Now, allow me to speak on behalf of my brand in saying that you thinking Takedown has an "edge" over us, is as far fetched as that helmet ever fittin' your dome. Fact of the matter is that that Ripley kid stole his spot into the Last Dance. And if memory doesn't slip my mind, there were a couple other Takedown Vs. Overload matches this year. Like say...the very match that promotes Takedown vs Overload...Braggin' Rights, where we didn't just kick your show's ass, we clean swept them. So you boys over on Code Blue might wanna rethink when ya' go off and talk about being the better brand. At least our champ doesn't need to use shortcuts to keep his belt.

Willy: Now he's got a point there, people.

But, I'm not out here to talk about show vs. show propaganda, and I'd like to erase from my memory the sight of the gayest tank on the planet. I'm out here because as you just said, you're looking to "dan" with one of the toughest mama-jammas on Overload. And since the big fella's over on Takedown for the month, I guess that means I'm next on the list. And seein' as I, just like you...didn't even squeak out a fall in The Crucibal, I'm feelin' a lil' way about not gettin' my money's worth. So, why not come out here and see of that Fro's aerodynamic by throwin' you around the ring a few times, eh? Oh, I've always wanted to ask you this as well. Is that thing insured? I mean...like...if something happens to it like...it catches fire during an Inferno Match, are you covered for it? Do you have to check it on flights as carry one luggage? What?

[Syrus The Entertainer]

I have you know...

Syrus responds by taking off the helmet.

...this hair actually is ensured, cuz it is after all my most prized possession now that I'm about 15 pounds lighter. Always was actually...how'd you guess? Don't hate on me cuz I don't have to unload 15 cans of Vidal Sassoon holding spray so that my hair actually stays where I want it to!

Tony: You know, I actually have wondered how Punch keeps that mohawk so well maintained?

Willy: He told me once that his secret was rubber cement.

Tony: Probably not the acid free kind either.

Now lemme get it straight, you wanna test the aerodynamics? Well what you're gonna actually see is the ergonomics...cuz I am scientifically maximized for maximum ass-kickery. And to prove my point, we go to the brand-spanking new, never before seen ASS-KICK-O-METER!!!

With this state of the art piece of equipment, satellite imagery will rate just how much you kick ass, simply by me saying your name! Lemme start with you, brotha.

*Ahem*

!!!JONNYYYYYYYYYYYY PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!!!

After he yells the name the Jumbotron suddenly begins to blip and bleep as if it's scanning something while everyone looks on in amazement. Then Punch's "rating" pops up on the screen...



Tony: Van Damme? Well, he did kick ass didn't he?

Willy: 'Cept that pic is from a movie that didn't.

Hmm, now obviously that means that you can up your level of ass-kickery a little bit more Punchy, and tonight you get the chance to do that. But you better be careful because as you will soon see...

*AHEM*

SYRUS THE ENNNNTAAATAAAYYYYNNAAAAAHHH!!!

More blips & bleeps...and then...



Tony: Wow, impressive!

I am the Zen-Buddha-Buttah-Baby-Master of Ass-Kickery!!! So...you ready for this one, Grasshopper?

[punch]

Punch's eyebrow slowly raises in reaction to what he'd just seen. He was quick to respond.

Bruce Lee? Are you kidding me? I'm the one who uses weapons buddy. I think your Ass-Kick O Meter is a lil' biased there, my man. I kick so much ass when NASA Satellites spot me from space, it sends back info to their computers that say "Bad Motha F'er". I also think the Gimmick Police might be waitin' for you backstage on account that Jimmy Ames did this skit 4 weeks ago. But at least ya' had somethin' goin' with the tank. That damn purple tank...

Punch lowers and shakes his head.

That damn tank. Seriously, what the hell were you thinkin' with that thing? How do you defile a war machine like that? It's like...like...Magnus Von Schwartz coming out in pink tights. Or...or Riot wrestling with a Hello Kitty mask on. That's a slap in the face to every red blooded, war mongering nut job back home. How the hell did you even get that contraption through customs? Just what we need, another thing for the British to make fun of us about.

Said in a bad British accent:

Oi, did ye' see those yanks from XWA on the tele last night? That Syrus chap came ridin' out on a purple bloody tank. Ye' ever seen anythin' as queer as that before?

*Sigh* There goes any credibility ya' might have had next time we go to another Military base. But at least you have that cute lil' red head. I KNOW!!! She's the one that came up with the tank idea, right? Tell me that was the woman's idea, and I'll give you a pass. Otherwise I'm afraid you've committed about 9 infractions of The Man Code in one night. A new, astronomical level of male failure, of which requires me to kick your ass on principle alone. SAVE YOURSELF!!!

Willy: He is keeper of The Man Code, you know.

Tony: I thought that was just some stupid skit he came up on the message boards?

Willy: No, no...The Code is the law of which all men should live by. Ain't you read his book yet?

Tony: I only got up to chapter 2: Dealing with women who don't put out. Then my wife walked in...

Willy: Ouch. Was that the night you came and crashed at my hotel room?

Tony: No comment.

[Syrus The Entertainer]

Gimmick police? Nah, they have the night off Punchy! Where did you think I rented the meter from? See, great minds think alike, and Jimmy kicks almost as much ass as me. Almost. And are you questioning my manhood? Now hooooooold on a minute, dog.

He pointed back over to the tank.

You were probably sleeping in history class back then, but don't you know that purple is the color of royalty? Back in the day only kings and queens could wear purple, and the United KINGDOM oughta know something about kings and queens, now don't ya'll?

*Cheap pop*

So tonight, what you get will be a king-sized, royal butt-whomping courtesy of the STE!!! After that, there ain't gonna be any question in anyone's mind, especially yours, on just who the "man" is 'round heeyah!

Syrus was amped up for this match. He waited to hear what else Punch had to say now before it would be time for him to say his now famous movie-inspired catchphrase. ;D

[punch]

Punch's reply.

History wasn't my best subject. Ya' see, My history teacher's name was Mrs. Mengenberger. You'd think with a name like that she'd be an old biddy, but she wasn't. She was HAAAAAAAAAAWT. With ler short blond hair and those dimples on her cheeks. Then there was her rack. I used to always call her over for help, just so she could lean over and I get a glimpse of cleavage. Ah, mammories...er...memories.

Punch pauses after an awkward silence.

Uhm...yea...so...you and me...in a match tonight. Uhm...I...think I'm gonna go now.

He smiles uncomfortably having blurted out a childhood fantasy of his on national television. Punch then shuffles out of the ring, leaving Syrus and the rest of the viewing public scratching there heads as usual.

Tony: Awkward "TMI" momment aside, I think this is going to be quite an interesting match up, don't you Willy?

Willy: Interestin' is a unique way of puttin' it.

With that, Overload switches gears to an Only The Strong promotional segment.