Of all the freakin'...(Chet)

[scott]

Backstage during the show, Scott paces the halls of the US Airways Center in search of a man who's name made him kinda puke even thinking of, Chet Dixon. A man who for some odd reason, his own mother was a fan of. Scott comes up to a few stage hands...

Anyone know where the airhea...I mean...Chet Dixon is?

They point in the direction of the locker rooms. Scott takes a deep breath and begins to make his way over. He was a 2 time World Champion. XWA's FIRST World Champion. One of the biggest names in wrestling, yet he was subjected to asking for the autograph of a man who wasn't in his league ten years ago, let alone now.

Great. There he is. Ok, Scott...keep it short and sweet. Get the autograph and get the hell outta dodge before he starts babbling on at the mouth...HEY STICKBO...I mean Chet. C'mon over here, dude. I got somethin' I wanna ask ya.

Gritting his teeth on having to make convo with a guy he personally thought was a moron, Scott feints his most sincerest of smiles as he awaits the response of Dixon.

[chet]

Chet walks there with his head set on comics and videogames like always, he is holding a XWA magazine and sees someone calling him

Who is that guy?

Chet gets in front of Scott O'Dell and starts looking at him, Chet then looks at the magazine that has an outdated photo of a bald O'Dell, Chet looks at the pic and then looks at O'Dell, he spends like 5 minutes trying to make a difference which certainly makes O'Dell more disgusted

Aren't you that guy we all have to hate? Atleast that's what it says in the magazine. Nevertheless I know you are a main eventer, and I ponder why a main eventer would waste his time with a jobber... Unless

Chet starts thinking

Look this are the prices for a squash match. 40 $ a 5 minute squash, 70 $ a 3 minute squash and 120 $ a less than a minute squash.

I advise you buying the last one, it will scare that Ryan Mophair guy seeing how you can knock out a 6'11, 311 lbs. Dude in less than a minute ;D

Chet then realizes that O'Dell doesn't really want that

Then... You want something else? Oh! A comic exchange, I have this few.

Chet takes a list as long as a toilet paper roll and starts listing one by one all his comics, as O'Dell not wanting to waste anymore time answers....

[scott]

Scott slaps himself on the forehead, wiping his face in an aggravated motion as he thinks to himself...

Good god almighty. Chris Lionheart & Gallas gave this guy a job WRESTLING???

He shakes his head and sucks it up...

I'm not here for one of you silly comics. And I SURE as hell ain't here to put myself in a match against you. Though the fact that YOU of all people have won two in a row really speaks volumes on just how hacky the talent pool in this place has gotten...

He pauses, allowing that to sink in. Whether Chet could sense the sarcasm or not, he had no idea.

I'm gonna cut to the chase. I need you to right your name on this piece of paper. Don't ask. Make like Nike 'n' JUST DO IT!!!

Scott pulls out a sheet of paper and a pen, hoping that Chet would just sign it and he could be on his way. But of course, Chet would NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER let the chance to pester one of the big timers slip out of reach...

[chet]

My name? My full name?

O'Dell waves his hand like wanting to say "whatever!" Then Chet writes, taking some time

Alright here we go... Andrew Chet Dixon. Here you have Scotty

O'Dell grabs the paper not wanting to waste any more time with Chet, however Chet didn't wrote an autograph, he wrote his name in capital letters It seems this will be harder for O'Dell than he thought, unlike him Chet didn't signed a whole lot of autographs. And to make matters worse, Kristin Hager appears joining Chet and looking at O'Dell

Hey Chet! Hey... er... who are you?

Kristin how can't you know who he is, is that guy.. Scott...

Aaaaah Scott Brothel!

This things make O'Dell wish he didn't had mother

No, No, No. Scott O'Dell.

Kristin having problems pronunciating an Irish surnames does another typo

Scott Bores hell?

NO! Scott O'Dell!!!

Scott Hostel?

Whatever... He asked me to write my name, maybe you want Kristin's name too.

And why does he want that?

He told me not to ask him, but I am pretty sure he's making a list of possible threats and worthy opponents ;D Ain't that right Scott?

Chet winks at O'Dell like if he was one of his buddies. O'Dell is one step of strangling Chet

Right then I'll write my name... Kristin Irene Hager... That's it

Kristin wrote her name like Chet, in capitals and not doing an autograph Then the two clueless jobbers stand in front of O'Dell, who doesn't seem to be a fan of jobber caligraphy

[scott]

Scott pretty much hangs his head in total disbelief. He never thought there'd be ANYONE this clueless, let alone TWO of them. He tries his best to shake off the utter foolishness of Chet & Kristin, and concocts another scheme to get an impromptu autograph...

Uhm...this is nice...but...ya' see, I'm doing some...uh...research. Yea, that's it. Research. I wanna learn a little something about the hand writing of adults in America. You see, you'd be surprised how many people in the country can't write in script. So I was wondering if you could turn off your internal caps lock button, and give me some cursive hand writing. Yea...that's it.

Scott feints another smile, hoping...PRAYING...that this one would work and he'd get outta there with his sanity still in tact. Fat chance that ever happening.

[chet]

Chet wonders a bit what O'Dell told him, so does Kristin, then they grab the paper and start writing

Allright, cursive you want, cursive you'll get

Chet and Kristin finish writing as O'Dell takes the paper away from Chet's hands... However Chet and Kristin wrote "Splonge" rather than their names Chet then looks at the surprised face of O'Dell

Don't you remember that Monty Phyton sketch, the one about the movie maker and the critics and the "splonge" ? ;D

That's one of my favs ;D

Yeah Kristin, I love Monty Phyton. ;D

Kristin then chuckles a british accent

And now for something completely different.

It's..

Chet starts singing the Monty Phyton theme song, much to O'Dell's desperation

What happens Scott? You don't like Monty Phyton?

I bet he rathers Stand by comedy

Oh does he?

Chet then chuckles a Chris Rock accent

I can tell ya! Peppermint Patty of the Peanuts is a lessssbian!

I thought your sister Christina was the lesbian

Great Kristin, you just spoilt my comedy routine!

Oh sorry

Well Scott I hope the "splonge" has worked for ya, good luck in your research, and prove to everyone that America has a better educational system than Canada, or atleast than Mexico ;D

Chet and Kristin start walking away as Scott O'Dell desperates even more.

[scott]

Scottslaps himself on the forehead again. Could there really be people in this world THIS dense???

No, no, NO!!! I need your NAMES in script. Not SPLONGE!!! Take then pen and the paper, and give me your NAMES in SCRIPT!!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

You could see Scott's frustration 10 miles away. It would probably be easier to just as, but we all know Scott's got to much of an ego to do that.

[chet]

Chet and Kristin stop and look at the paper again

But Scott, we already wrote our names.

Yeah as a matter of fact you are the first person who knows that Chet's first name is Andrew and that my second name is Irene.

Chet then starts thinking.

Wait, "splonge" didn't worked for you, neither did our names in capital letters so now you ask for our names again in cursives

Like if it was a school assignment

And I am a high school dropout

So am I

Chet then thinks a bit more

Scott don't you want our signature?

But he said he wanted our names in cursive

All in all it's the same deal

Yeah you are right.

But we can't decide that.

And why not?

It's Scott's research after all

Chet then asks

Hey Scott do our signatures work for your research or you need just our names in cursive?

[scott]

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!

Scott's frustration comes to a head.

JUST SIGN YOUR NAMES ON THE DAMN PAPER IN SCRIPT!!! SCRRRRRRRRRRRRRIPT!!! HOW HARD IS THAT!!!

Scott puts the paper to a wall and signs his own name. He holds it up for them to see.

You see THAT!!! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! But not my name, YOUR NAMES!!! EASY!!! Sign your GODDAMN NAMES ond the GODDAMN PAPER!!! JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZUS!!!

You could almost see the steam coming out of Scott's ears.

[chet]

Chet and Kristin shocked at O'Dell's reaction grab the paper

Wow calm down Scott, you want a valium?

Chet handles O'Dell a Valium, he then grabs the paper and puts it on the wall

Here goes my signature check it out

Chet does a flashy taunt as he writes his signature.... Unfortunately he wrote on the wall instead of the paper

Damn Chet you are so clumsy handle me this!

Kristin tries to do a flashy move, however, she sticks the pen into the fire alarm!!! The alarm goes off for a while before disconnecting, unfortunately the fire sprinklers went off wetting O'Dell, Chet and Kristin, the paper due to the water became a paste of it was once. Soaked to the feet O'Dell is one second away of killing Chet and Kristin but

Sorry Scott Er... Look I had here a TNB collector's card where my signature appears....

Chet handles O'Dell a rare TNB collector's card when Chet started young in TNB, with short hair, no beard a more wrestler look and definately looking a lot better than he looks now, unwittingly Chet just gave a rare TNB card that is worth 300 $ in eBay

Wait, I bet you want a more recent one, here you have it, when I was a hardcore Teletubbie ;D

Chet handles O'Dell another TNB card, this time it features Chet with long hair and beard, wearing a Teletubbie dress and having the hardcore belt the card is signed as well by Chet

I don't have trading cards O'Dell but I can try doing another flashy signature

No!!!! We all see what happens! So is that cool Scott or you need something else? Maybe a clothes dryer? I can dry your clothes blowing ;D

Chet starts blowing his and Kristin's clothes, O'Dell FINALLY has the autographs, well he hasn't got Kristin's but he was soaked and wet...

[scott]

Scott merely stands with a puzzled look on his face. He thinks to himself...

What...on god's Earth...just happened?

He looks down at the two trading cards. Not exactly what he'd anticipated (especially the one that would run $300, money Scott would never see, but his Mom would probably throw in his face at a later date), but at least it had his signature on it. He wipes the water from his face.

Uhm...thanks. I...Think...

He secures the cards in his back pocket.

You two look busy, you know...uhm...Have fun blowing Kristin...


Wait, that didn't come out right. Aw screw it...

With a little sanity in tact (very little), Scott turns around slowly and slinks away.