CALLIN' ALL ASSHEADS!!!

[tEH dOOlEyS]

During a commercial break on the TakeDown show, the camera catch themselves a glimpse of something, or some people, that nobody was expecting to see suddenly shoving their way through the crowd.

Buzz: Hey...hey Mike...look over there!

Roach: Oh God...those aren't...they can't be...

Yes they are Mr. Roach. After months doing god knows what god knows where, The Dooleys were back at an XWA event. The three made they're way down to the barricade, jawing and cursing at fans all the way...until they got to one of those yellow shirted security guys you see all the time.

Spaz: Hey man...listen here. We wanna go thar and...cut one-a them thar promo's to get us into a fight tonight. Now...you ain't gonna give no...sass about that are ya?

Security: Nobody but XWA talent is allowed in the ringside area. Unless your under contract, I can't let you pass.

Spaz (wrapping his arms around the security guard's shoulder): Now come own buddeh! We are XWA talent! Doncha reconize us? We're The Dooley Boys! Former XWA Tag Champions!

Security: Never heard of you I'm afraid.

Spaz sighs and hangs his head. Shaking it in disbelief he comes up again.

Spaz: Now that's just not nice right thar. You never hearda us? You prolly don't even watch wrasslin' do ya?

Security: Only when I have to work. This crap is so fake.



Spaz looks to Bull. Bull looks to Punt. Punt looks to Bull. Bull looks to Spaz. They all nod. The fans in the immediate vicinity boo the guys ass off.

Spaz: Well freend, I think we need to show you just how fake this wrasslin' thang can git. Bull? If you weel...

He gingerly takes his arm off of the guys shoulder, and almost immediately afterward the big bruisin' Bull lunges at this poor schmuck and nearl rips his head off with a lariat that flips him clear over the barricade! If you saw it with your own eyes you'd be either disgusted or entertained.

Bull: Heh Heh Heh...ASSHEAD!

Spaz: C'mon boys, we gots work ta do!

The brothers climb over the barricade. Spaz and Bull step over the security guys still writhing in pain, but Punt's got some other plans. He looks down at the carcass and rolls him over on his back.

Punt: YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!

After they yank the mic from the ring announcer, conveniently the show came back from break and...

Roach: We're back live on TakeDown, and ladies and gentlemen during the break these three men you see here literally smashed their way into the ring.

Buzz: If you don't recognize them folks, these are DOOLEYS, one of the most dysfunctional band of brothers to ever hit a wrestling ring. They're real Redneck Rejects I tell ya!

Spaz: Uh...(tapping the mic) testing...1-20-eleventysevensquared...alright! Laydehs and gentamin...boys n' girls...children a' all ages! XWA proudly brings ta' you it's soon to be two time, two time, two time, two time, two time...

Bull (tapping Spaz on the shoulder): Uh...if it's two tahm, shouldin' ya just say it twice?

Spaz: SHUT UP ASSHEAD!!! Ahem...TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOORLD...(panting)

Punt (snatching the mic from Spaz): I just wanna know one thang...how many ladies wanna play with my whammy bar!?

Bull clocks the little one on top of his head and he falls to the mat Ric Flair style.

Buzz: Told you so.

Bull: What my brothers are tryin' to say is...we're the damn DOOLEYS AND WE'RE BACK, ya heard!!! So who wants to get themselves the opening of the can of the ass-whip? Huh? We ain't leaving this ring until somebodeh, ANYBODEH...gits on out here and let's us beat 'em like a scolded government...stepchild...or whatever.

BRING IT OWN DAMMIT!!! BRING IT OWN!!!

[spaceinvaders]

Soon the lights go out, as a freaky voice interrupts this three goons

HUMANS PREPARE TO PERISH! SURRENDER AND WE'LL BE MAGNANIMOUS!!!

The fans immediately cheer, as the Space Invaders are in town, this guys where sooo unknowingly charismatic

What are they laughing at? They do not know we have the most powerful weapon in all galaxy, they are about to be conquered and yet they can't stop laughing! HAHAHA I guess you Earthicles laugh because you see your fate soon and you know there is no hope!

not really . Soon the Space Invaders appear carrying a weapon that resembles a giant vacuum cleaner. Space Invader #1 has a mic and starts speaking

What you all see here is the "Intelligence Aspiration System" With this little weapon we will render all of you useless, you'll be devoid of intelligence, devoid of mind and most importantly devoid of defenses! Slaving all of you that's your fate!

the fans however laugh again, since they are unable to take them seriously. that "weapon" of such destructive power was too funny looking to be taken seriously The Space Invaders get near the Dooleys

Since you all Earthicles think this is a laughing matter! We are going to show you the übercatastrophic consequences of this weapon whenever used on humans! We are going to suck all the intelligence out of this three gentlemen right here, right now!

And so, the Space Invaders turn on their evil machine, however something wrong goes, since the machine doesn't suck anything. The Space Invaders insist... The machine doing an ultra-effort to suck something of intelligence starts heating. But the Space Invaders insist, the machine starts swelling and screws are starting to fly everywhere

There must be some blocking! This will blow up! It's overworking trying to suck some intelligence!!!

Hold it we must resist! We must resist and not....

BOOM!!!

Nope, Sumya isn't here, just that the Space Invaders machine had blown up, both of the aliens were covered in dust, again they had failed their invasion plans and again they would have a substantial pay reduction in order to pay for the expensive weaponry they where given.... Both of the Space Invaders stay there covered in soot as they try to clean themselves up

Desist...

The fans cheer, as they thought all this was a comedy act, the Space Invaders' plan was good, too bad they found those strong minds that blocked their intelligence sucker... Or was it because there was no intelligence there? You decide