BOLLUCKS! {Jon Payne}

[lash]

The show was moving right along as usual. The Philly fans were soon met with the entrance theme of none other the XWA's resident scoundrel, Lash Levine. He pauses at the set and surveys the crowd, as Buzz & Roach offer some choice commentary on him.

Buzz: I still don't know what to make of this guy. Yea, he's a goer, that's for sure. But he takes me as a lil...Uhm...what's the word.

Roach: Bonkers?

Buzz: Yea. I think bonkers covers it.

Lash head down to the ring like a whirlwind. Sliding into the ring, he swipes the mic from the PA guy and chases everyone out of the ring. He raises the mic to speak.

XWA pays me money ta' kick arse. And they pay me good money at that. But here's me problem. The fact that all I've found me'self against is loud mouth piffs who can't hold a drop a' piss ta' me. BOLLOCKS! I'm sick an tired a fightin' second rate talent. How the bloody 'ell am I s'posed ta' get anywhere fightin' mid-carders and charity cases? I beat that ponce Nick Jonesfour ways ta' sunday at MayDay. I think I might have a piece of his skull still stuck on the bottom of me' boots. And HE'S in War Games. Can we say charity case?

He smirks out to the crowd.

Now I know I've been off & on so far in XWA. Only wrestled two matches so far. But that's cuz I pick me' spots. Thinkin' that the guys I'm fightin' are worth a toss, but gettin' disappointed in the end. Well ta'night, I don't plan on gettin' cheated. No no no, I'm gettin' me money's worth. Cuz tonight...

I'M CALLIN' OUT JON PAYNE!!!

The arena practically explodes from the roar of the fans.

Calm down, ya' bleedin' wanks. Jeez. Now I know all of ya' are wonderin' what the hell am I doin'. Ya' all sayin' "What's Lash got against Jon Payne?" The answer? Not a bloody thing. Well...maybe that he's got better hair then me, but that's another story. The fact of the matter is that I signed on the dotted line to take on the best of the best of the BEST. It's high time I start makin' good on it. So Jon-Boy. You and me, in this ring. No gimmicks. No fillers. Just two blokes who love a good scrap havin' a go. And afterwards, I might even spring fer' a Guinness & a Cheesesteak.

Roach: If that's not broadening your spectrum, I don't know what is. Levine Vs. Payne. This might end up looking like an UFC and not XWA.

Buzz: Two pure strikers, head to head. THIS is gonna be one fun match to watch.

As the fans continue to cheer, Lash awaits the arrival of Jon Payne

[Jon Payne]

The lights dim down low, and then they turn that familiar shade of green. The sound of Bro-Kin's "Separate" echoes throughout the Wachovia Center and then right as intro is about to finish it cuts off. The entire arena goes black and a sound byte from a well known film plays.

Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Then with a blast of pyros the track plays full and moments later steps out Jon Payne from the backstage area.

Roach: Ask and you shall receive, eh Buzz?

BuZZ: Well, I guess it's only fitting that I say it, so I'll say it. Here come the PAYNE baby!!!

Roach: Does that actually feel good saying that?

Jon walks the walk to the ring and steps inside microphone in his hand. What to make of the man who made the challenge? The answer to that question would soon be learned.

Lash Levine...Lash Levine...can I just call you Lash? So you say you want some real competition now do you? Don't feel quite like you're earning your pay? Well, in that little speech of yours you've made two mistakes I'd like to point out here. Ahem...

MISTAKE NUMBER ONE: Underestimating your opposition. See Lash it doesn't matter whether you beat a guy once or a million times, anytime you step into this ring you need to understand that you might not be walking out the winner. Now a guy like you should probably think about coming along so smug after what, a couple of wins? That all can change in a heartbeat bro, and that brings me to...

MISTAKE NUMBER TWO: Picking a fight with Jon Freakin' Payne! If you wanted to stomp with the big boys, you could have called out...I don't know...Keith Wyle or Robby Sylk, maybe even try to wrestle Kayn for the Pure Title or something...but nooooooo...you come knocking on my door, and why? I'll tell you why...you want the credibility. It's no secret that I bring it hard every match I'm in. I push myself to the limit and those who are one the other side either rise to the challenge or fall to the mat. But therein lies the irony of it all Lash, just as good as you are, just as good as you get, I'm always going to be one step ahead of you, just like I have been with well...almost everyone who's tried to do exactly what you're trying to do right now.

Now, you might listen to all that and think that I'm contradicting myself, making MISTAKE NUMBER ONE. I respectfully disagree. See Lash, I don't underestimate anyone, I estimate myself and there's a big difference in that. I know full well that on any given night I can be on the losing end, so I push myself as hard as I can to make sure that doesn't happen. I don't have a clue what you might able to do, but I know 100% what I'm going to do, and that's exactly what I say I'm going to do...same as every other time in every other man against every other man, and if it's enough to win then that's all good. If it's not than that's fine too, because if that's the case than you my friend will have earned what you so desperate desire, but I haven't, don't and never will make it easy for anyone and tonight's not gonna be any different.

So if you want the best, you've got the best. That means you're gonna have to bring your best.

[lash]

And here comes an always animated reply from Mr. Levine...

That's where YOU'RE wrong, Neo. I don't make mistakes. I call it as it is. And suck-ass talent is suck-ass talent. I've held more titles then 90% of the entire roster. I've been doin' this since back when you were learnin' ya' 1st Kata in Karate class. I make it my business...no. I've built my CAREER on bein' five notches ahead of the competition. Some might call it arrogance. I call it knowin' how good you are compared to the rest of the talent pool. Or shall I say in this case, the talent PUDDLE.

Boos can now be heard from the crowd. Lash turns out to thenm for his next retort.

Oh don't give me that crap. We all know who the top draw talents are in XWA. They're the ones you see in the main event matches. The ones you see gettin' all the publicity. The Sylks. The Sykes. The Bains. The O'Dells. The Primos. The Kayns. The Paynes...you and that other one that got leaked open in Tokyo....poor bastid. Hell, even that chump Tryton has stepped his game up to being a main player. And this is a bloke whose been a MID-CARDER all his bleedin' career. THAT'S true talent. That Jones ponce, he must be Irish. That's the only reason I see him bein' as successful as he's been. But what do you expect when he's been taken on second rate talent. You see what happened when he went up against a CHAMPIONSHIP caliber opponent. He choked, and then he bled. Simple as that.

There ain't no reason why my name shouldn't be on that list. My name SHOULD be on that list be default. But that's gettin' ahed of me'self. I know that in XWA you have ta' earn ya' keep. And that ain't happenin' with me fightin' "The B-Team". The Board of Directors, Mr. Gallas & Ms. Blackheart need to see that I'm every bit the monster in this ring I've been touted as. And the only way that happens is when I take on someone I don't have ta' DUMB myself down to. That's where you come in. Am I sayin' I'll beat ya'? Who knows. But what I will say is this. In response ta' ya' "You're gonna have ta' bring your best" comment. My WORST is better then the best of half the bloody roster. You ain't gotta worry about what I bring. You worry about what YOU bring.

Lash lowers his mic and waits.

[Jon Payne]

Jon raises an eyebrow at Levine's reply. Here's a confident one isn't he, but then again who isn't it this business. Still, there were just a few things that Lash needed to be educated on...

No, no my friend...if you were smart you would be worried about what I bring. I guess you're too caught up reading your own press to know what just about everyone on the planet knows about good 'ol JP. Some would go as far as to say that I am the best damn wrestler in the world, and I'll tell you this Lash, you don't earn that kind of title by running your mouth.

You call yourself championship material as if we haven't heard that from just about anyone who ever wrestled period, let alone wrestled here in the XWA. The difference is that here in the XWA you need to prove that fact because just saying it will only get you but so far. Now I'll give it to you, you obviously sound like you can talk the talk, and if your past performances have anything to say about that, you can walk the walk as well. But have you really paid attention to MY past performances? Two victories against another man who like you was looking to take the next step in Austin Harris, and then in Tokyo...Dru might have gotten the pinfall, but it was me who was cleaning house on MG and Sushi-X, and that was just doing the big guy a favor!

That goes back to what I said about estimating myself. We've all seen what you can do, and we've all seen what I can do. Put those two things side by side, and most betters out there will take Jon Payne and the under. Heck, you're the one calling ME out here, not the other way around, so somewhere in your subconscious mind you know that stepping in the ring with me isn't just a match...is really is a test. That being said it looks to me like your head's in the game.

But mental preparation is one thing, physical execution is something entirely different. Execution is my middle name. Execution, Evolution and Elevation, and yes...I am excellent at all three.

Win or lose Lash Levine, if you really wanted to catapult yourself into the spotlight and show all the world what you've got...you came to the right place. How-evah...you should know that this here isn't my my match to lose. Now the question is how exactly do you want to do this?

[lash]

Lash brings his mic up to respond.

I'll keep it simple for ya'. You like ta' fight, I like ta' fight. You're a martial artist, I'm a martial artist. There's only one match I can even think of that would even the least bit a' sense.

KING'S ROAD.

The fans come alive as Lash lays out the match.

Buzz: OH YEA!!! Thus far we've seen some damn good matches under King's Road rules. I don't at ALL see this one being any different.

No ring outs. Victory by Submission or 10 count KO. Yea, sounds like a crackin' good time ta' me.

Lash waits for Payne's reply.

[Jon Payne]

Okay, if you want to put yourself through that kind of punishment here tonight, then who am I to argue?

Jon's response comes as he paces around the ring.

I mean, I haven't wrestled a King's Road match before, but it damn sure is a kind of match that's up my alley because it's all about precision & aggression, and that's all me.

It's all about being tactical and technical, and that's all me too.

King's Road, eh? It's been done before...but I guarantee to you Lash Levine, and I guarantee each any every fan who's eyes are planted on this ring right now...it will never, eeeeeeevvvvvvvvverrrrr be done the way that you see it here tonight a-gain!!!

Because tonight is the night that yes, even the classic King's Road match gets ELEVATED to a higher level...because that's just what I do. Tonight, bring your A-Game, your game face and whatever other metaphors you need to get yourself amped up Levine, because...you guessed it right folks...

IT.

IS.

ON!!!

Payne's final words before his music fades in once more, and he fades out to the back to prepare what promises to be a rocketbuster, or slobberknocker, or whatever.