Show Up For The Showdown!!! (Battle Royal open)

[Syrus The Entertainer]

Vendetta continues from the Tokyo Dome, and that ever so popular question blasts over the speakers...

Can you dig it?

CAN YOU DIG IT???

CAAAAN YOOOOOOU DIGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT?

Oh yeah, Japan can dig it alright. The man they call Syrus The Entertainer steps out onto stage and then high steps his way down the ramp towards the squared circle. His theme, "Holy Calamity" dies down as he ducks into the ring and is handed a microphone.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages...it give me great pleasure to present to you all for your viewing enjoyment...ME! Now you know I thought I was gonna have the night off tonight after having thwarted "Super Chet" last week, no wait...it's was UltraChet, we are in Japan after all. Then it dawned on me, this is a PP-freakin'-V! Ain't no way in the hell that STE is gonna sit out the big shows, especially ones in a place like this. The mecca of pro wrestling on this side of the planet. HAIL NAW!!!

So I got to talking to the Fly Frenchman Gallas, and this is how it's going tonight ladies and gentlemen. Every once in a while he does this thing called the "Braggin' Rights" Battle Royal. Well, tonight it's gonna be a little different, cuz tonight it's gonna be done my way, and it's gonna the SHOWDOWN IN NOT-SO LITTLE TOKYO!!!

The fans cheers show the anticipation for the upcoming match idea.

Real simple, battle royal style. Come one come all- 4, 5 or 6 man, doesn't make any difference as long as you bring it on like Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union did cheerleader style baby! That's it...that's all she wrote ladies and germs. You want in on this then get yo asses on down here and SHOW UP FOR THE SHOWDOWN!!! Holla back, youngins!

[Morning Star]

The first to answer the challenge laid out by Syrus was Morning Star. As ‘Burn in Hell’ played over the PA, Morning Star walked out onto the stage to the boos of the Japanese fans. He smirked at them and continued down the ramp, however instead of climbing into the ring, Morning Star looked into the ring for a moment at Syrus, then walked over to the ring announcer to forcefully take his microphone from him. His music faded and Morning Star spoke.

Syrus, you call for anyone who can, as you say, ‘Bring it’, well I believe that I have more than proven over the past few weeks that I have returned to the XWA for as many fights as I can get into, and with your little challenge here tonight it is just more opportunity for me to hurt more competitors on my way to the top of this federation. This will be another stepping stone for me, nothing more.

The crowd boos as Morning Star lowered his microphone, as another wrestlers music played over the PA

[sylvester]

And soon the theme of the male queen of wrestling who's becoming specialized in battle royals hits the ring, as the always cheerful Sylvester makes his way out to the ring, prancing down the ramp, despite Syl was african american not many people could tell under so much make up and glitter . After some good ol' gay moves, Syl gets in the ring and is given a mic, and the only man with a gay lisp in XWA starts speaking

Konichi-Whoooooooo!

Instant pop

Someone like you Syrus, someone so charismatic could have the brilliant idea of calling some good talent to have a little Rendezvous for all our fantastic, fabulous and hot Japanese fans! And the first one to sign for this battle royal, is yours truly Because lately it seems that I am becoming a battle royal specialist, last one I was, I lost but I had the chance to be with the most handsome, gorgeous man I have ever seen, Finesse

Syl effeminately brings his hand to his mouth

Oh! Again I am speaking too much, my two lips are my demise! Anyways sweetie, I am locked and loaded for this battle royal. Question is, will our opponents be ready for it? Just time can answer.

Syl lowers the mic as he waits for an answer

[Magnus Von Schwartz]

In direct and almost immediate response, a familiar theme song to Syrus' ears begins to play over the PA as Magnus Von Schwartz emerges from the backstage area with mic in hand. As per usual he is dressed in a black suit, looking more like a businessman than a wrestler. His eyes meet with his rival's and he actually smirks confidently, strange for one like him who generally shows little emotion in the ring.

He steps inside...

Now Syrus, did you honestly believe that you would be done with me that quickly? That easily? Surely you must be as you would say, on something...right? You stand out here once again, ever so confident after having defeated an incompetent simpleton last week in that Chet Dixon fellow. A victory over him means very little in the grand scheme of things Syrus, I would have thought you had the common sense to know this.

Lest you forget your first night here in Japan. The night in which I beat you soundly in a fair and unbiased contest, the King's Road match. It only confirmed not one, but a great many things to me that night...

Magnus starts to pace around Syrus as he continues...

First of all, you might have prevailed in your standard fare, and in your gimmick table match...but as I surmised in a fair contest when it becomes a matter of skill and precision and not mere luck as you have had so much of in the past, you cannot defeat me. I would go as far as to say that nobody could defeat me. There is a reason for this my good man...

...The only true wrestling style there is technical wrestling. That is the art of the sport in it's purest, truest and strongest form. I have been watching XWA for quite some time now and the one thing that shines through is that fact itself. When you look at men such as Bryan Jasta and Primo Valiente, men who simply dominate their competition you see one thing in common, their knowledge and understanding what pure wrestling truly is. Then there are those here who make me absolutely nauseous...like you. You who panders to the crowd for support and tries to illicit some form of what is it called...heat? Pop? Those like you with your ridiculous appearances, unkempt hair, loud ring attires and such...you make me want to throw up.

The very reason why I stand out here tonight is because I've grown sick and tired of the ruse. It is time now to show not only you, but any other foolish imbeciles there are here in XWA...and I know there are plenty of them, what it means to be a dominating force. To lead by example...and not just to be an ordinary wrestler trying to make it big as they say...for I'm far beyond ordinary.

I AM SUPERIOR.

Tonight I shall prove my point to you and anyone else who dares to show up to your little showdown.

[chet]

BOOOOOOORING!

that shout directed towards Magnus came from the drafters and it was yelled by none other than the man who that jackass considered worthless Chet Dixon. Chet stood up and made his way to the ring, always carrying his Pacman t-shirt he was then given a mic

We meet again Afro Thunder! Last time you where victorious once again but I haven't come here as UltraChet, because UltraChet is resting in his ultracave waiting for the next match Syrus. I have come here because I have seen that certain bald (yawn) boring (yawn) stupid (yawn) jackass who has stolen Bald Bull's gimmick has decided to drop his two euros on me. Saying that I am worthless and blah blah blah. Gods of the drafters, who really is the most worthless man here?

Is it me?

Crowd says "nooooo"

Maybe it's Syrus?

crowd says no again

Syl?

once again negative answer

so it's gotta be Magnum Ice Cream

crowd boos at the mention of that name

Well baldy they have spoken! But knowing you, you are probably a guy who listens to nobody but his inner child, I have decided to do something. Syrus chalk me in this battle royal, if that baldy has a problem with me, he'll have the opportunity to say it to my face! But yeah Magnum you are superior to us. Superior in being boring, stale, dull... Even watching stones is more entertaining than hearing you. Now get this suit off Men In Black. You won't catch an alien tonight, but maybe an outer space beating given by yours truly Chet "Obi Wan-Jabroni" Dixon. Syrus may the force be with us, the force enough to stand while Magnum vomits his Yawnazius speech

And a Dixon Wiggle marks the end of Chet's words while he waits for an answer

[Syrus The Entertainer]

Well dayum, ya'll! Was you waitin' in line backstage or somethin'? Holy pepperoni!

You know something...both of you two MorningStar & Sylvester...you've done more than what some people were probably expecting for you to do here. But I got something to say to you Maggie, first and foremost.

*Nods*

Yeah, you got me in Saitama. I ain't forget it and you better damn well believe that imma be looking for some get-back James Brown style here tonight. Now about the whole speech on technical wrestling and all that, I'll admit that yeah it is effective...but there's just one little problem I got with it man, and it's really the same problem I got with you.

It's BORING AS HELL!!!

Yeah, I watch Primo and Jasta matches myself as well, and I fall asleep half way through 'em all! You think these people want to sit and watch grown men rolling on the ground for twenty minutes? You call it what, wearing an opponent down or whatever scientific junk you wanna call it, I call it a damn snooze fest! See what I'm here for is the prove that style is just as important as skill is, and that on any given night you can either win or lose no matter WHO is on the other side of the ring.

What I see in this ring right now are four different men, four different styles and four different mindsets...and whatever Sylvester calls himself. You can think your superior all you want, brotha! Trust and believe that your gonna have to prove that by working it in this ring and doing the damn thing, cuz talk is cheap when you can't back it with results.

So we got the Prince of the Damned...
The King of Queens, or is that Queen of Kings? I dunno...
Young Padawan Chet Dixon...




















And Magnus.

Imma have to side with Chetty on this one, you really need to work on the promos, dog. Entertainment value, man...entertainment!!!

Anybody else wanna add to this?

[Magnus Von Schwartz]

SILENCE!!!

Before anyone else can say anything else, Magnus responds...and he's more than annoyed as he does it.

The only entertainment and amusement I seek is that which comes from making a mockery of you fools in this ring the way that you try to mock me with your pathetic words. You are both cut from the same cloth, the only difference is that one of you has a tinge of skill while the other has none!!!

This is precisely what it is that I speak of when I say that the farce has become redundant. Men like you...if you can be called men, more like children in fact...have no place in this sport. Wrestling is the sport of kings, and as far as I see in the two of you...you are nothing more than court jesters!

You weak, pathetic fools WILL be put in your place tonight, and then I will be more than sufficiently entertained.

[chet]

Chet drops dead on the mat, that was so boring, nobody could survive, Chet snore and acted like if he was talking while sleeping

ZZZZ... ZZZZ... Magnus is a bald jackass he has 3 loses in his record and just one victory, and he thinks he can talk shit to me ZZZZ.. A former Hardcore'z Champ? ZZZZ... Well he can indeed talk shit to me because I am defenseless right now ZZZZ... I could be pinned right now 1-2-3, oh that's such a familiar feeling ZZZZ.... Someone buy Magnus a colorful wig, maybe if he came with a hair like Carrot Top he'd be less painful to watch ZZZZ...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chet then stands up and streches his muscles he lets out a big YAWN in front of Magnus as the crowd laughs as Chet mocks Magnus mercilessly

[Syrus The Entertainer]

The sight of Magnus getting a little hot under the was pretty amsuing to Syrus. He wraps his arm around Chet's shoulder in a buddy buddy kind of way.

You know something Chet? It looks like you and me have found ourselves a common ground here haven't we? They say great minds think alike and if that's true then you and me are on the same page here...Darth Magnus needs to get a damn light saber shined up real nice, turned sideways and shoved straight up his candy ass!!!

Wait...can I say that?

You forget there's two other guys in the ring as well, but you know what? You can have your case of tunnel vision too, go ahead and try to single either one of us out tonight...that's only gonna prove that you ain't as "skilled" as you say you are, cuz aware of all around him a true Jedi Master is. Mmmmm...yes...

Buzz: Yoda The Entertainer?

[chet]

Chet does a Dixon Wiggle

Don't worry Syrus, besides if I lose, will that be a shocker? I am a young Padawan here, and as you said this Magnus guy and all of those who brag about the "sport" of this business and forget that this is Sports Entertainment are boring, plain boring, I'd rather play one of the games the Angry Video Game Nerd reviews than watching one of their matches. If someone hasn't been able to beat Jastapasta I bet that is because they fall asleep And Mr. Primo Boriengte besides being a human Webster Dictionary for Pedantic Words, he's really nothing else

And you Magnum if you are so good, besides winning many Lex Luthor impersonators conventions, what else have you done in wrestling? Nothing but chalking up loses to Syrus The En! Ter! Tei! Naaaaaaaah!

And another Dixon Wiggle

[Morning Star]

By this time Morning Star has finally climbed into the ring and stood in the corner behind Magnus, watching Chet and Syrus begin to talk down to Magnus. Morning Star raised his microphone and spoke.

Now gentlemen, I know clear and well that in a situation like this there are no friends which suits me just fine, however there could be allies. The two of you seem to have taken it upon yourselves to bring Magnus’ record into question, knowing full well that this man wrestles in the classic style of wrestling, not the ‘sports entertainment’ style of wrestling that has been bastardized for all these sheeple that fill these seats here tonight who want nothing but violence and bloodshed.

The crowd boos loudly as Morning Star still speaks.

Chet Dixon, you are in no place to point out someone’s record. You have a total of five wins in your history out of how many matches in your career? And before you speak, yes I know full well that one of those wins was against me last season, however you had an unfair advantage of using weapons. Tonight, you will not have that advantage.

Morning Star then looks at Syrus.

Syrus, while I have never faced you I will have to say that if your actual skills are anything like those of the company you keep here, Morning Star points at Chet then continues you have a snowball’s chance in hell of surviving much longer than 10 minutes.

Morning Star then looks at Sylvester as he smirks and shakes his head.

I have already proven myself against you.

Morning Star then turns his attention to Magnus.

You however sir, seem to be what I would consider my toughest competition in this match. So to you I say, may the best man between us win.

With that Morning Star put his hand out to shake Magnus’

[sylvester]

Syl however decides to do something

Wait a minute darling, what have you proven? That you beat me? Oh La La! That's real tough big guy, you and me have only clashed once and you beat me just once, so think twice before thinking you have proven anything sweet cheeks, and don't make any excuses you lost against Chet in a hardcore match, weapons were legal chico

Syl prances around Chet and Syrus

Risk of sounding biased against Magnus here, I just can't stand his vision of wrestling, the fans love us and for a reason, because we bring them sports and entertainment, and that's what they want to see tonight, me, Chet and Sy Entertaining this fans by proudly Outsporting your flabby asses of the match, then after the boredom twins are done and gone, may the best man amongst us win

Syl then turns at Magnus and blows him a kiss, Syl then smiles as the crowd cheers for him

[x]

Jeezus freakin' Christ. You guys have the nerve to talk about Magnus being boring? Gentlemen, I'll tell you what's boring.

Lionel Xander steps out from backstage to join in the "fun".

What's boring is watching you guys WRESTLE. You all have the collective in ring skill of a see slug. How about that match between Chet and Syrus? I felt like that dude in the Pepsi commercial nodding off having to watch such a BOREFEST. But while you all come out and do your little song and dance for peanuts, I DELIVER. Let's see...Ryan Fierhart? Yep, pinned him. Van Hayden? Beat him, too. That Ortiz fella? Man he was so embarrassed the ass kicking I handed him last week, he QUIT. That's what I do fellas. I don't just talk it. I walk it. While so many guys talk about "making an impact", I AM THE IMPACT. Now I could stand here and come up with some form of witty one liner to pwn all of you into next week, but I think I'd much rather BEAT you all there instead. Yea, this is me putting my name into this.

Here's the part where I lower my mic, and wait for one of you to make an ass of yourselves with some kind of comedic crack. Ready...


GO!

X smirks as he lowers his mic.

[chet]

Chet fakes being knocked down flat on the floor again mocking this jackass that just appeared

WOW! THAT WAS AN IMPACT!!! By the way, what's PWN? Pretty Wicked Nobody? 'Cause that's what I am seeing right now

Chet gets up on his feet

Well listen to me Burrito Delivery Boy, I am tired that every punk who wears his hair slicked back and some cool tights, no offense Syrus , thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread. You beat Ryan, Van and Ortiz? Whoa pat your back boy and held your head up high, that makes you an instant legend doesn't it? Haven't we have had enough of this speech fans? It's like everyone who beats some big fish thinks he's actually someone important like a game's final boss or somewhat like that. Well Mr. Big Fish, I still don't know your name although I can try to guess it, what is it... Hmmm. "Elvis Payne"? "Infernal Toupee"? "Chris Glasses"? "Generic Dude Who Appears Uninvited AND Joins The B.O.R.E Squad?" I think the last one fits more and this....

Chet chuckles X's voice and mocks him

"is the part where I kneel, I put the mic near my ass and I let Ayatollah Assaholah reveal his opinion about you three"

Chet promptly FARTS in front of this three dullheads Chet then puts the mic back again near his mouth

Ugh this stinks ... And now I'll snap my fingers and wait for you to come back with one of this Super Duper ultra witty Pretty Wicked Nobody cracks you boasted about... Ready? Steady?

GO!

Chet snaps his fingers as he waits for an answer

[x]

X just about falls out on the floor in laughter. He composes himself enough to speak a response.

Holy crap. That was AWESOME. No no no. Seriously. That was riveting stuff. By far the most entertaining thing that's come out of the mouth of a man who spends more time on his BACK then Jenna Jameson. HAAAAAAAAA!!! Do me a solid, SHET. Come back and talk that yin yang when you've actually done something other then get your ass kicked. Wait...that's all you've ever done. Oh well, guess we can't 'em all, can we?

X shakes his head. Why was he even talking to this loser?

The things I do to further my career. I should be taking on the likes of Bain, or O'Dell, or Kayn, or one of the guys who actually matter in this company. And in due time, I will be. You see, fellas. You can as I said before do all the song and dance you want. Fact is when the bell sounds, and it's all on the line. I'm the real goods, and you all? Wel...I really don't know what the hell you all are. I guess Gallas and Blackheart need to have SOME people on payroll. Hell, the only other person in this I'd even consider on my level is Chrome Dome & Afroman, and THAT'S pushing it. The rest of you yokels, Cannon fodder at best. But do think that your opinions matter. Please, by all means. Keep making yourselves look like dickheads. And then, when I collectively hand you your asses, we'll see just how smug you are. Especially you, my special lil' buddy.

X waves at Chet.

In fact, after tonight, Shet. I'll be callin' you something else. My BITCH. Maybe you can get Sylvester there to lend you an outfit after tonight. So you can at least look the part of being a giant sized pussy, and not just be one by default.