MORE ONOZ!!! (o2 the 1st poor shmuck)

[punch]

STRAIGHT TO YOUR FACE!!!

The jumbotron video of the REAL infamous one starts up. The camera pans around the arena looking for him, and Punch pops out of a side door in the audience. With a mic in one hand, and beer in the other, Punch cracks open the beer and takes a huge gulp. He then raises the mic and...

*BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRP!!!*

Buzz: GOD DAMN!!! What a freakin' SLOB!!!

Mike: No kidding. Ladies and gentlemen, if you've never seen Jonny Punch, strap in and wait for the oxygen masks to come down.

That tasted kinda like that spicy Baconator I had earlier. BACOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!! Ok people, I AM !!!Jonny Punch!!!, and I'm pissed off. Pissed off at who? Bryan Jasta, that's who.

The fans, as well as Buzz & Mike look in confusion. Jonny alleviates it.

You see, at the Season Premier, we took on Kris Sayint and Adam Devlin, and we lost, yea. Big whoop. But that was supposed to lead into me kicking his positive attitude, 80's after school special ass tonight. But low and behold Jasta beat the poor bastard into a fuckin' COMA at the last show. God damn him. So now, I'm without a play friend tonight.

Punch makes his way through the crowd and hops over the guard rail. He roles into the ring to continue.

And what the hell kind of PPV would this be without JONNY PUNCH in action, eh? A fuckin' BORING one, that's what. I mean, where's the suspense gonna come from? We all know what's gonna go down. Scott O'Dell's gonna clean house tonight as USUAL, Jon Payne's gonna spend 15 minutes getting his ass kicked by Austin Harris again, only to Van Damme him in the last few minutes and pull another W out of his ass. Sumya's gonna bite off more then she can chew as usual, and get her chocolate ass sent PACKIN' outta XWA. BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! Seen it once, seen it a thousand times. But what we haven't seen is some good ol' fashion Punch Style VIOLENCE!!! You know the kind. I need some poor shmuck to beat ass on, and some poor shmuck backstage is beggin' to get beat on. Or maybe the other way around...

WHO THE FUCK CARES!!! As long as SOMEONE'S ass gets beat. So who's it gonna be? I'm gonna go backstage, drink this lil' guys five brothers, and break someone's JAW PIECE. The question is, who?

Punch takes another swig of beer as he awaits whoever was dumb enough to step out on stage.

[mw]

The entrance theme of Matt Winters plays over the Arena PA, and the he steps into the fray. The crowd cheers as Winters heads down to the ring, and he stands face to face with Punch. He takes a look at the man for a moment, before walking around to the other end of the ring to retrieve a mic. Matt turns back around to Punch and speaks.

Jonny Punch. THE Jonny Punch. The man that no one even dares step to. The man that people fear. A man who fears nothing, and no one. And won't hesitate to blow someone out of the water when it's to your benefit. You sir, are a rare breed. But that's where all the accolades end. Because me? I'm MATT WINTERS. And no, you don't know me from a freakin' hole in the wall. But what you do need to know, is that I like a good fight. I've spent my whole career fighting. In this ring, I'm as good as they come. But talk's cheap, right?

Matt paces back around Punch.

You're god damn right Talk's cheap. But I've never been much for talking. Doing on the other hand? Now that I'm good at. No, I'm the BEST at what I do. And it's high time I start doing...what I do. So, you're looking for an opponent tonight? Look no further. You've GOT one. Right here...in me. So what's it gonna be, Punch? A hardcore match? I can do hardcore. Or maybe a steel cage match. I've won my fare share of those. Maybe an Ironman match. I DEFINTELY do those the best. Simply put, you name your match, and I'll BEAT you in it. Easy as pie.

Matt lowers his mic with a grin. He waits for the response of Punch.

[punch]

Punch gives Winters a slick and confident grin. The dude had some stones, that was for sure. Punch speaks a response.

I name my match, and you'll beat me at it? Is THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT right? You sound real confident, Motor City Boy. But ya' see, this ain't Detroit Rock City. This ain't "Prime Time". This is the BIG LEAGUES. And me? I'm one of the BIG FISH. You think you can take me? Ok...

Punch steps in close to Winters.

You and me, one on one. STEEL CAGE. But not any other kind of Cage. Not a chance, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddy. It's gonna be a lil' somethin' I call "Punchy's Steel Cage of DOOM".

Mike: Punchy's steel cage of...WHAT!!!

Buzz: He's totally out of his mind. No questions asked about that one.

What's Punchy's Steel Cage of DOOM? Easy. We lower that there cage hangin' over our heads down. You and me step in this sucker, and we beat the FUCK outta each other. The man that wins is the man who either climbs out of the cage, or knocks the other guy senseless. No pins, no submissions. Nothin' fancy. Just some good ol' fashion American VIOLENCE. That's my match, Buddy-boy.

Punch gives a sadistic grin at the prospect of what he'd just offered up to Winters.

[mw]

Matt ponders Punch's idea for a moment, and then wastes little time in a reply to it.

A steel cage match, where the only way to win is to either climb out, or knock the other guy out? Sounds right up my ally. You're ON.

Matt awaits the next reply of Punch.

[punch]

Winters had confidence. Just the kind of guy Punch liked fighting. Makes it that much sweeter when they're down for the count.

Then it's settled. I don't know you from a hole in my head, but seein' as you're so enthusiastic to get it on, it must mean you're enthusiastic enough to get you ASS handed to ya'. Cuz I don't like losing. Well...scratch that. I'd like to lose this itch I've had for the last month. Damn Korean hookers...

Punch pauses...and scratches...

Ok ENOUGH about that. Your ass is mines, new jack.

[mw]

Winters steps in close to speak his final response.

It's not "jack". It's Matt. Matt Winters. One cold son of a bitch. Remember the name. You'll be hearing it A LOT from here on out.

With one final look, Matt's theme cues up on the PA. He drops his mic, and takes leave of the ring. On his way up the runway, Matt turns back to Punch and gives him a sarcastic wave goodbye.

[punch]

Punch smirks at Matt's gesture, and returns the favor by giving him the old "up yours" gesture. Something about this Winters guy seemed a little off. A good face full of steel cage would probably do well in putting him back in his place.

The End.