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Post by punch on Dec 1, 2007 19:49:12 GMT -5
Following a segment, the theme of Jonny Punch plays over the PA. Jonny enters the arema, but not alone. Joining him was Nigel Sledge, and two shopping carts full of "goodies". 2x4's, pipes, chains, chairs, trash can lids. The whole shabang. Punchy dig into his cart and fishes out a mic.
As you folks can plainly see, Nigel and I have came baring gifts. It IS the holiday season after all. And we're in the spirit of giving...
AN ASS WHOOPIN'!!!
And there are two men who we've got in mind. Evan Fate and Jimmy Ames. That's right, the odd couple. Ya see, we didn't get ta' have enough fun with you two jackasses in that steel cage match. So we figured instead of being confined to another one, we open things up a bit. No...not a bit. We open things up ALOT!!! I remember the good ol' days in NYC. When you could walk down 42nd Street and watch some poor bastard get his ASS kicked and his shoes, hat and his jacket taken. Good times. Well tonight we take it BACK TO THE GOOD OL' DAYS!!! ANYTHING is legal. If it ain't bolted to the ground, you can use it. And falls count anywhere in the Tri-State area. Yea that's right. For all you folks who remembered how they did things back in Philly, they called it
A HOSTILE CITY SHOWDOWN!!!
And we're here to BEAT YOUR ASSES!!! So c'mon on down, ladies. It's GUT CHECK TIME!!! |
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Post by nigel on Dec 1, 2007 20:06:43 GMT -5
Nigel breaks out a cane and begins twirling it around like a sword. He shows an evil grin. He gives Punch a wink as they wait for the response of Fate and Ames.
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Post by dio on Dec 1, 2007 20:35:54 GMT -5
Hey monkey boys, up here!!!
Evan Fate comes up on the Jumbotron. He appears to be back in the locker room.
Yanno, I'm thinking it might have been a good idea for you ta' maybe invest in a lock or somethin', Punch. I mean...
He raises what appears to be Punch's gym bag into the camera's view.
I mean leaving your bag out in the open like this. Not cool. Well, while I'm here, let's see what Mr. Punchowoski travels the road with, eh?[/color]
Evan gives a huge grin and opens the bag up. Reaching up he pulls out the first item.
Look at this? What man doesn't travel with the latest issue of Score Magazine, eh? Yes ladies, Jonny likes 'em BIG!!!
Chuckles from the crowd can be heard as Evan continues.
Let's see what else we have here. Oh...OH...look at this?
He pulls out a hardcover copy of "How To Meet Girls" by Ron Barrata.
Nooooooooooooooooooow, Jonny. What is THIS about? A party guy like you needing tips on how to meet women? For SHAME!!!
He reaches in once again and pulls out picture of Punch and Lindsay Lohan. He slowly looks dead into the camera with a blank expression on his face...
Not even going there...
He chucks it across the room. He tosses the bag to the floor and heads out of the locker room. The camera follows him out into the corridor. As Evan walks down the hall, he comes across a few Diamonds...
Hey girls. ;D
He comes to a stop near a concession stand, where Jimmy Ames then comes into the camera shot.
JIMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Find anything, dude?
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Post by ames on Dec 1, 2007 20:42:48 GMT -5
Jimmy raises his "findings" into view.
For some reason, all I found in Nigel's crap was a Tu-Tu and a bottle of Mayo...
Both men turn and look into the camera with smirks.
Mi-tee-QUEER. I think we have a pair of guys who need to get in touch with there feminine sides. But before that happens, I think we should...you know.
Jimmy motions with his thumb behind him...
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Post by punch on Dec 1, 2007 20:48:33 GMT -5
Sons of bitches!!! NIGEL!!! Let's get those ASSHOLES!!!Jonny was visibly pissed off. Now everyone knew he was a Score man. (Not that you couldn't figure THAT on out)  He drops his mic and storms backstage with a trash can lid in hand. Sledge wasn't to far behind him. They come to the concession stand Fate and Ames were last seen, but they'd vanished without a trace. WHERE'D THOSE PUSSY SONS OFF BITCHES GO!!! |
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Post by ames on Dec 1, 2007 20:53:24 GMT -5
Jimmy peaks his head out from behind the counter. neither man even saw him. He chuckles a bit before ducking back underneath.
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Post by nigel on Dec 1, 2007 20:54:30 GMT -5
Nigel snatches the concession guy from behind the counter by the collar.
STAHRT TALKIN', SUNSHINE!!!
I...I dunno!!! I turned around to get s'more jerky and they were gone!!!
BLOODY 'ELL!!!
Nigel pushes him back over the counter. He points to Punch and shouts.
SPLIT UP!!! You go that way, I'll go this way. We'll foind those piffers yet!
They split up as planned in search of Fate & Ames.
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Post by dio on Dec 1, 2007 20:58:52 GMT -5
Both Evan and Jimmy stand up from behind the counter. Evan reaches into his pocket and hands the Concession guy a 50.
Thanks, dude.
He looks to Jimmy with a grin.
NOW we have some fun...
They both jump over the counter. The follow in the direction of Punch first...
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Post by punch on Dec 1, 2007 21:04:05 GMT -5
Jonny walks along and comes up to a men's room. Plastered on the door was a big "Out Of Order" sign. He smirks at it...
Freakin' figures.
He takes a few steps further and spots a rather conveniently placed Port-a-potty.
Awesome. GOD DAMN do I have to pee...
He pops open the door and shuts it behind him. |
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Post by ames on Dec 1, 2007 21:07:39 GMT -5
Just a few seconds later, Ames and Fate show up. Jimmy grins at Evan.
Dude. You don't think he actually fell for it, did you?
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Post by dio on Dec 1, 2007 21:37:26 GMT -5
Evan slowly puts his ear up to the port-a-potty to hear Punch whistling while he was doing his business.
Yea, he fell for it alright. This is going to be f'd up, man.
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Post by ames on Dec 1, 2007 21:39:19 GMT -5
Jimmy cracks his knuckles with a cruel grin on his face.
Such is the price of war. You gonna give me a hand or not?
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Post by dio on Dec 1, 2007 21:41:39 GMT -5
Evan shots him an evil grin of his own.Does the pope take a crap in the woods?
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Post by ames on Dec 1, 2007 21:44:46 GMT -5
Jimmy shakes his head.
Dude. Where his Holiness does his business IS his business. I just hope he didn't do it in this thing. Ready?
1...
2...
3!!!
Jimmy and Evan proceed to TIP OVER the Port-A-Potty with Punch STILL IN IT!!! A collective gasp seeps out of the onlooking crowd.
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Post by punch on Dec 1, 2007 21:49:17 GMT -5
Jonny pretty much creams like a bitch as he's stuck in the absolute WORST possible place a human being could be...
OOH GOD!! OOOOOOOOOOOH GOD!!! I GOT SOME IN MY MOUTH!!! MY MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!!!
MUTHER FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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He drops his mic and storms backstage with a trash can lid in hand. Sledge wasn't to far behind him. They come to the concession stand Fate and Ames were last seen, but they'd vanished without a trace. 