Team Random Blasts Off Again (promo)

[Shawn Hollywood]

Shawn and Sylas sit casually on a bench in the locker room, with Vikram, who is in his menacing pose. A camera sits in front of them, broadcasting their image on the titantron, and around the arena.

Well it seems the time for Soul Survivor is nearing. Everyone knows the big event that's going down at this PPV. The SS Team Battle Royale. Yay. Isn't that something legendary? Now, seeing as how this event is "legendary", the proper team should win this event. A team that is and can be legendary!

He looks back at the team.

Who better than us? We have the legend, Sylas Fucking Styles! None other than myself, Shawn Hollywood, and this bad mother fucker right here, Vikram!

He looks over at Sylas.

Want to start us of with the "pwning"?

[unknown]

I'm the PWNkemon master!

Seriously what is with all these other teams? They're random, generic washed up never has beens trying to capitalize on their luck. Think about it though. Can you be as bad ass as Shawn Hollywood?

NO!

Can you be a massive, muscle bound wrecking machine like Vikram?

NO

Can you be as legendary, dominant and worthy of this win like me?

HELL NO!

I'll tell you what, all you other teams that wanna get in the way of this team, do yourselves a favor, kick yourselves in the nuts, give eachother wedgies, noogies and wet willys and we'll meet you in the bathroom for you swirlies. Seriously, Meowth has more of a chance to win this then anyone BUT us.

He laughs as looks over to Vikram who is still posing all menacingly. He motions towards him that it's his turn, his go. Time to rant and speak and be abit funny, cause thats what sells nowadays, funny promos about other people.. or monsters like Vikram who just destroy stuff and say a few words when they're done.

[Shawn Hollywood]

Ah, the big guy doesn't want to talk. It's all good. I'll put in my two cence about the teams.

Shawn pulls a list of teams off of the table beside them. He looks them over quickly and gets a laugh.

FIRST UP, we have a team of..Rated R, Robby Sylk? Uh..Marcus Devine..and Jussi? Wow...just...wow. Just from the sound of the names, I can TELL these guys aren't worthy of winning this whole shindig. I could use a gay joke here, but that would be immature wouldn't it? Besides, we don't want these boys crying because I mocked their sexual orientation. I have a question though. Why is Robby rated R? Is he rated R for Retarded? If that's the case, then the rest of the team must have gotten all of their families GOOD chromosomes.

Next up we have Ryan Fierhart, Jared Chase, and Adam Devlin. Why not go ahead and call it Fierhart and Friends? We all know who the real attraction is in that team. It's basically one skilled wrestler and a couple of fillers. But honestly, should people be THAT intimidated by a Fierhart? I have two words to describe this guy...OVER RATED!..Who are the other guys anyways?

Then there's Shia Storm, FireK!D, and XXL. As far as I know, Shia is a joke and a half. The last time I heard of him he was a Gothic Submission Machine. Tell me, where's the pride in that? And where's the pride in dragging along that fatass bitch of his, Angel? Yeck! After him we have FireK!D..Tell me how to pronounce that please. Firek! Duh? I don't know. Last on there team is XXL. The biggest steroid abuser I've ever seen. It looks as if Barry Bonds, and all those other MLB douchebags have been outdone by this huge bastard. I have a question for you XXL, how's it hanging? Or is it still there?

Now we have Caballz, Kevin Killer, and Kayne. Here come the giants. We've got a giant guy that wishes he could be as cool as a biker. That's not hard to do, but it's a challenge for him. As long as I've known Cabal, he's been a dumbass, plain and simple. Fuckin' loser. As for Kevin and Kayne..who cares? Who the hell cares!?

Ugh...and the list goes on...King..MG..and Blade Myers.. KING!? He's the biggest joke I've ever SEEN! He's a quote "fucking clown shoes." How can he even make it in this business being a multicolored giant fucking cat clown. He's a degenerate. And who in the hell is MG? He's that guy that wears the XWA vest right? So I'm guessing he's one of those cheap wrestlers with no talent that works here to be a sponsor? I think XWA should do us all a favor, and just get rid of the idiot. Last on their team they have Blade Myers...Again, I don't know who the hell that is..

Nick, Tyrone, and Eric? Whoooo caaaares! Then there's us...and last of all we have Lionheart...and he's waiting on two members to be revealed. Do us all a favor, hop off your cheap trick pony, and just tell us who the hell your having on your team. The suspense is NOT killing us. So spare us the wait.

Sylas, you got anything else to say?