Post by epic on Sept 11, 2009 7:42:15 GMT -5
The camera fades into view to a man walking around backstage. He has on a faggish blond wig, Sharpe-drawn tattoos, and a shirt that has "QUEEN OF CONTROVERSY" scrawled out on it with cheap, crayola paint. He kicks a nearby staffer in the balls as he walks, before finally speaking. The poor soul collapses, coughing, behind him.
You see, I've always been a pretty second rate superstar. I mean, just look at me.
He stops. The face can clearly be seen as Scott Epic's, even through the scribbled on, douchebag beard.
I just can't hack it on the mainstage, that's all. It's, of course, something that I don't like to admit...
He, "throws a fit," kicking the nearest person in the balls. He continues to walk.
Sure, I've had World Championship gold. For places that don't matter, that aren't alive anymore, that just didn't have the talent pool of XWA. You know, second rate places. But, you know what? That's still more gold than most of XWA has had, even if they can and do kick my pansy ass!
Now, that brings me tonight... to my superior, Scott Epic!
I don't know why, especially after seeing you backflip up from all of my constant nutshots... but tonight I'm fighting you!
AND I'M SCARED OF YOUR BALLS OF STEEL!
I mean, look at this!
He kicks the nearest person in the balls as hard as he can. The poor men who work backstage have seen enough and hide for the safety of future generations sake.
THIS CAN'T STOP THAT MAN!!!
WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA DO?
?
I'm just not as good as Scott Epic...
He drops his head, whimpering. He sniffs loudly, before "wiping" a tear from his eye.
I'm in for it now. I've got to bring my entire bitch arsenal, just for a prayer against the man! Why, oh, why can't I make that Shoot-fighting BS I told everyone I was bringing in my profile work? Why do I have to resort to this tomfoolery, this grade-school fighting to just pray for a chance here in the XWA?
Why can't I be great like Scott Epic? The guy is a wrecking machine, and I know I was only lucky in my match against him... lucky that he was more amused by my nutshots than anything else. Lucky that it allowed me to get a quick grip on him, and get the win, after he could hardly breathe from how much he was laughing at me while he was beating me up???
Now, that he knows better... what am I to do? Hope he forgets to wear his cup?
Panicked, "Genesis" scrambles forward, grasping the camera lens in front of him...
Scott? Go easy on me... 'kay?
The camera fades.
You see, I've always been a pretty second rate superstar. I mean, just look at me.
He stops. The face can clearly be seen as Scott Epic's, even through the scribbled on, douchebag beard.
I just can't hack it on the mainstage, that's all. It's, of course, something that I don't like to admit...
He, "throws a fit," kicking the nearest person in the balls. He continues to walk.
Sure, I've had World Championship gold. For places that don't matter, that aren't alive anymore, that just didn't have the talent pool of XWA. You know, second rate places. But, you know what? That's still more gold than most of XWA has had, even if they can and do kick my pansy ass!
Now, that brings me tonight... to my superior, Scott Epic!
I don't know why, especially after seeing you backflip up from all of my constant nutshots... but tonight I'm fighting you!
AND I'M SCARED OF YOUR BALLS OF STEEL!
I mean, look at this!
He kicks the nearest person in the balls as hard as he can. The poor men who work backstage have seen enough and hide for the safety of future generations sake.
THIS CAN'T STOP THAT MAN!!!
WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA DO?
?I'm just not as good as Scott Epic...
He drops his head, whimpering. He sniffs loudly, before "wiping" a tear from his eye.
I'm in for it now. I've got to bring my entire bitch arsenal, just for a prayer against the man! Why, oh, why can't I make that Shoot-fighting BS I told everyone I was bringing in my profile work? Why do I have to resort to this tomfoolery, this grade-school fighting to just pray for a chance here in the XWA?
Why can't I be great like Scott Epic? The guy is a wrecking machine, and I know I was only lucky in my match against him... lucky that he was more amused by my nutshots than anything else. Lucky that it allowed me to get a quick grip on him, and get the win, after he could hardly breathe from how much he was laughing at me while he was beating me up???
Now, that he knows better... what am I to do? Hope he forgets to wear his cup?
Panicked, "Genesis" scrambles forward, grasping the camera lens in front of him...
Scott? Go easy on me... 'kay?
The camera fades.